It doesn't matter how many days, Ubuntu is still crap

[Spanketh Thy Monkey]

Alias is getting one big hard-on because a new version of Ubuntu is coming
out. Still the same old crap. Ubuntu won't run any of the popular
programs. Ubuntu is still Free. Ubuntu still sucks.

Nobody in their right mind would want to use Ubuntu.


What you can do with Ubuntu:

Email - Very simple e-mails
Surf the web - Even Ubuntu can surf the web
Burn CDs. - Lots of trouble
Rip CDs. - Maybe with help
Listen to music. - Yea, from your IPOD
Watch vidoes/DVDs. - From your TV. Not from Ubuntu
Scan and print. - Using your multi function printer.
Spreadsheets. - You can calculate up to 100 numbers
Presentations - If you like stick figures
Newsgroups. - Alias is famous for this one. No wonder why he likes Ubuntu

HTML editing. - Yes, basic TEXT editing of an HTML file can be done.
Games like Chess, Tetris, all kinds of solitaire, etc. - That's it for
games. Limited

Make videos. - Very basic videos. Maybe 2 min in length before system
crashes.

Download photos from a camera and organize them. - Hell you can download
pictures to your TV from your CAMERA.
Translations. - Yes, you can get a translator to help you with Ubuntu
Use a dictionary - You need a dictionary to figure out the Ubuntu language
Learn how to touch type. - Funny, a keyboard can do that.
Edit images. - Whoppteee DO

Send and receive a fax. - What do you think your multi-function PRINTER is
for.

Take screenshots. - So you can send to your MAMA
Create .PDF files. - Adobe makes sure you can do this.

Create and use a data base. - Yes, open a text file and create a database.
Brilliant.

Instant messaging with over 10 different programs in one including
Windows Live Messenger.
IRC.
Bluetooth. Whopptee Do.



What you can't do with Ubuntu:

REAL WORK

 

[Alias :-\)]

Alias is getting one big hard-on because a new version of Ubuntu is coming
out. Still the same old crap. Ubuntu won't run any of the popular
programs. Ubuntu is still Free. Ubuntu still sucks.

You are correct. I do get a hard-on when a new version of Ubuntu comes out.
I just don't know what to do with Ubuntu once I install it.

Nobody in their right mind would want to use Ubuntu.

That's me.

What you can do with Ubuntu:

Email - Very simple e-mails

Sometimes I need help even with the simple e-mails

Surf the web - Even Ubuntu can surf the web

I surf the web for Sheep ****ing sites.

Burn CDs. - Lots of trouble

I can't even use a CD.

Rip CDs. - Maybe with help
Listen to music. - Yea, from your IPOD

I like music to **** sheep by.

Watch vidoes/DVDs. - From your TV. Not from Ubuntu

How about Porn? Can I watch my animal porn?

Scan and print. - Using your multi function printer.

I need to print directions to the store. I keep forgetting where it is. I
should cut down on the amount of POT that I smoke.

Spreadsheets. - You can calculate up to 100 numbers

I wouldn't know what to do with 100 numbers.

Presentations - If you like stick figures

I like stick figures.

Newsgroups. - Alias is famous for this one. No wonder why he likes Ubuntu

What's a newsgroup?

HTML editing. - Yes, basic TEXT editing of an HTML file can be done.
Games like Chess, Tetris, all kinds of solitaire, etc. - That's it for
games. Limited

Like I would ever edit HTML. DUH. What is HTML?

Make videos. - Very basic videos. Maybe 2 min in length before system
crashes.

I can hardly understand video let alone make a video. Forget it.

Download photos from a camera and organize them. - Hell you can download
pictures to your TV from your CAMERA.

I need to keep my Sheep pictures away from my wife.

Translations. - Yes, you can get a translator to help you with Ubuntu
Use a dictionary - You need a dictionary to figure out the Ubuntu language

I learnt how to spell in prison.

Learn how to touch type. - Funny, a keyboard can do that.
Edit images. - Whoppteee DO

That is way over my head. No way.

Send and receive a fax. - What do you think your multi-function PRINTER is
for.

Take screenshots. - So you can send to your MAMA

My Mama is gone. She doesn't need screenshots.

Create .PDF files. - Adobe makes sure you can do this.

I can't do this.

Create and use a data base. - Yes, open a text file and create a
database.
Brilliant.

I keep track of my Sheep on 3x5 cards.