Insurance claims: One liner classics


Quadophile

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Some may be familiar with these, but for those who have not, ENJOY!



"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."


"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."


"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."



:D:D:D
 
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Quad - i was in stitches

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

LOL
 
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Nice one.. Have seen these before a while ago but I had forgotern about them, everytime I see them they still make me chuckle :)
 

cirianz

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Quadophile said:
Some may be familiar with these, but for those who have not, ENJOY!


"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."



:D:D:D


Good one Quad! I was in tears laughing!
 

Becky

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Quadophile said:

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

Ha ha ha! I liked this one best! :thumb:
 
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CITech

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What the hell ....

Quadophile said:
"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."
I can't help feeling that people like this should be taken away from society! They are a danger to themselves, and more importantly, a danger to normal people.:D

Well done Quads, another big smile from me:)
 
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