OT: Handling bosses who aren't involved - my personal dillemma

[jehugaleahsa]

Hello:

I recently caused an uproar at my work. Essentially, I told one of my
pseudo-bosses that his lack of involvement in our projects was making
his decisions uneducated. Of course, since I'm fairly young, I must
have said it in a way that hurt his feelings. He is supposed to be my
boss, but it is frustrating that instead of him coming out and telling
me that I crossed the line, he just made it a bigger issue by passing
it on to his boss.

I have been really afraid to go to work for the past few weeks, and I
feel like this boss is willing to have me removed for speaking up. I
am not sure whether I should apologize, since he hasn't made me aware
of his feelings, personally. I am also afraid apologizing will
undermine my original intent.

The problem is that he is supposed to be a developer as well as a
manager. However, his management tasks almost always prevent him from
doing or being involved with development. He has been the cause of
delays for at least 6 months now.

Recently, I found him ganging up on my fellow programmer, telling him
he had to solve a problem immediately. It frustrated me because the
same exact issue had come up many times before. I sent multiple emails
trying to explain what the issue was (he was reposting data and
therefore doing a double insert into the database when he refreshed a
page). I felt ignored. Finally, my coworker just redirected the page,
just to get them off his back (which made my boss happy and a bit
cocky). However, the solution my coworked ended up doing was not a
very good one. I sent another email explaining that just because the
problem was "solved" it didn't mean it was a good solution. For
instance, a user could still just hit the back button. Again, I felt
like this was ignored.

We ended up having a meeting because some heated emails got sent
around. It was here that I told him his lack of involvement was
causing us frustration. I feel like he may have interpreted this as,
"You don't do anything". I know he has management responsibilities, so
I was talking only about development. I may have caused an even bigger
ripple because I told him that, while he is a senior member, he
doesn't have the insight to know what decisions will have on our
applications. I told him that we, the developers, have to be the ones
that ultimately make a decision. Suddenly, I'm insubordinate.

Now, pretty much all of senior management is involved. The boss I
upset won't even talk to me, which I think is a failure in his ability
to manage (he thinks I'm avoiding him, even though I've worked with
him multiple times in the past few weeks). I've been called into
various meetings with my coworker. Due to my boss's ranking, the
situation has elevated from me expressing my frustration to me being
insubordinate and disrespectful.

I'm kind of sick of hearing the bosses I talk to start out meetings
with stupid ice breakers and using other management tricks to turn the
situation on me and make me the problem. How do I deal with this? How
do I turn things back around and get things straight? Do I apologize
and potentially forfeit everything? What should I do about my coworker
to save his butt if things do go wrong?

I don't know, but this has caused me more than enough stress. Just
thinking about it makes me all shakey. I feel that I am party
responsible for hurting my boss's feelings. But, is it my fault that
he called a meeting before everyone had a chance to calm down and
think things through? Is it my fault he misunderstood and didn't
inquire?

Thanks,
Travis

 

[jehugaleahsa]

Thanks. You've made me feel a little better. I think you pretty much
told me what my gut has been telling me for the past two weeks.

~Travis

 

[Arne Vajhøj]

I recently caused an uproar at my work. Essentially, I told one of my
pseudo-bosses that his lack of involvement in our projects was making
his decisions uneducated. Of course, since I'm fairly young, I must
have said it in a way that hurt his feelings. He is supposed to be my
boss, but it is frustrating that instead of him coming out and telling
me that I crossed the line, he just made it a bigger issue by passing
it on to his boss.

I have been really afraid to go to work for the past few weeks, and I
feel like this boss is willing to have me removed for speaking up. I
am not sure whether I should apologize, since he hasn't made me aware
of his feelings, personally. I am also afraid apologizing will
undermine my original intent.

The problem is that he is supposed to be a developer as well as a
manager. However, his management tasks almost always prevent him from
doing or being involved with development. He has been the cause of
delays for at least 6 months now.

Recently, I found him ganging up on my fellow programmer, telling him
he had to solve a problem immediately. It frustrated me because the
same exact issue had come up many times before. I sent multiple emails
trying to explain what the issue was (he was reposting data and
therefore doing a double insert into the database when he refreshed a
page). I felt ignored. Finally, my coworker just redirected the page,
just to get them off his back (which made my boss happy and a bit
cocky). However, the solution my coworked ended up doing was not a
very good one. I sent another email explaining that just because the
problem was "solved" it didn't mean it was a good solution. For
instance, a user could still just hit the back button. Again, I felt
like this was ignored.

We ended up having a meeting because some heated emails got sent
around. It was here that I told him his lack of involvement was
causing us frustration. I feel like he may have interpreted this as,
"You don't do anything". I know he has management responsibilities, so
I was talking only about development. I may have caused an even bigger
ripple because I told him that, while he is a senior member, he
doesn't have the insight to know what decisions will have on our
applications. I told him that we, the developers, have to be the ones
that ultimately make a decision. Suddenly, I'm insubordinate.

Now, pretty much all of senior management is involved. The boss I
upset won't even talk to me, which I think is a failure in his ability
to manage (he thinks I'm avoiding him, even though I've worked with
him multiple times in the past few weeks). I've been called into
various meetings with my coworker. Due to my boss's ranking, the
situation has elevated from me expressing my frustration to me being
insubordinate and disrespectful.

It is usually a very bad idea to tell bosses about their shortcomings
in front of others.

You should have taken that discussion with him privately.

So now you have more wisdom.

But not necessarily job security. :-(

I don't think there is much point in apologizing.

I don't think there is much point in discussing it
with the bosses boss.

That would just prolong the crisis.

Do your job and let time solve the problem.

Next month there will be something else everybody
is focusing on.

To avoid repeating what started the mess, then suggest
the team implement a process for resolving issues. It can
be formal or complete informal (email the team about the problem,
collection suggestions for fixes and let the majority of the team
guide towards the correct solution without it being one
against one).

Practically then discuss the idea with a few of the senior
members of the team and let them get the bosses approval.

I am pretty sure that the boss will approve, because he
will not like the current situation either.

Arne