ITS A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY

[George W.]

DEAR MICROSOFT,

THIS IS GEORGE W HERE (I'M NOT USING MY LAST NAME SO YOU KNOW HOW SUPER
SECRET THIS IS, JUST FYI), I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW
IMPORTANT GETTING VISTA ASAP TO ME AND YOUR COUNTRY IS (DON'T MESS WITH
TEXAS, JUST FYI). I MEAN YOU MUST ALREADY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT I AM AND
HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS JUST FROM THE MERE FACT I'M TYPING IT IN ALL CAPS. I
KNOW FOR A FACT YOU'VE LEAKED A COPY TO KIM JON-IL WHO IS NOW ENGANGED IN
SOME FURIOUS STRATEGERY WIH OTHER EVIL DOERS AND VILLAINS OF THE WORLD WHILE
I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND WAIT A WHOLE TWO MORE DAYS (HOW MANY F-N GAMES OF
SOLATIARE CAN A GUY PLAY). NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
SINCE BOTH YOU AND KIM ARE OUT FOR WORLD DOMINATION (NOTE TO SELF; POST TO
LORD DICKY'S MYSPACE PAGE TO CHECK OUT MICROSOFT). WATCH OUT BILL, I HEAR
THAT KIM GOT 11 HOLES IN ONE THE FIRST TIME HE WENT OUT GOLPHING (MAN THAT
GUY IS GOOD, JUST FYI). JUST TO LET YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS I AM BECAUSE I
DIDN'T GET VISTA EARLIER, I WENT TEXAS CRAZY (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS) ON
RUMMY AND CANNED HIM FOR NOT SAYING GOOD MORNING TO ME THE OTHER DAY. LIKE
WHAT THE HECK!?.. I GOT MY IPOD VIDEO EARLY! AND MAN THE POD CASTS OF CONDI
ARE OH SO CRYSTAL CLEAR (OOOH MAN SHE'S HOT, JUST FYI). I THINK I'M GOING
TO USE THIS RED ROTARY PHONE HERE TO CALL YOU AND LAUNCH AN OFFICIAL
COMPLAINT, THAT'LL SHOW YA (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS), JUST FYI.

SINCERLY GEORGE.

 

[Travis King]

The rig is up Kevin.

 

[DCR]

R O T F L O L
olling n he loor aughing ut oud

Just F Y I
or our nformation

Stop it, stop it...

| DEAR MICROSOFT,
|
| THIS IS GEORGE W HERE (I'M NOT USING MY LAST NAME SO YOU KNOW HOW SUPER
| SECRET THIS IS, JUST FYI), I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW
| IMPORTANT GETTING VISTA ASAP TO ME AND YOUR COUNTRY IS (DON'T MESS WITH
| TEXAS, JUST FYI). I MEAN YOU MUST ALREADY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT I AM AND
| HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS JUST FROM THE MERE FACT I'M TYPING IT IN ALL CAPS. I
| KNOW FOR A FACT YOU'VE LEAKED A COPY TO KIM JON-IL WHO IS NOW ENGANGED IN
| SOME FURIOUS STRATEGERY WIH OTHER EVIL DOERS AND VILLAINS OF THE WORLD WHILE
| I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND WAIT A WHOLE TWO MORE DAYS (HOW MANY F-N GAMES OF
| SOLATIARE CAN A GUY PLAY). NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
| SINCE BOTH YOU AND KIM ARE OUT FOR WORLD DOMINATION (NOTE TO SELF; POST TO
| LORD DICKY'S MYSPACE PAGE TO CHECK OUT MICROSOFT). WATCH OUT BILL, I HEAR
| THAT KIM GOT 11 HOLES IN ONE THE FIRST TIME HE WENT OUT GOLPHING (MAN THAT
| GUY IS GOOD, JUST FYI). JUST TO LET YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS I AM BECAUSE I
| DIDN'T GET VISTA EARLIER, I WENT TEXAS CRAZY (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS) ON
| RUMMY AND CANNED HIM FOR NOT SAYING GOOD MORNING TO ME THE OTHER DAY. LIKE
| WHAT THE HECK!?.. I GOT MY IPOD VIDEO EARLY! AND MAN THE POD CASTS OF CONDI
| ARE OH SO CRYSTAL CLEAR (OOOH MAN SHE'S HOT, JUST FYI). I THINK I'M GOING
| TO USE THIS RED ROTARY PHONE HERE TO CALL YOU AND LAUNCH AN OFFICIAL
| COMPLAINT, THAT'LL SHOW YA (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS), JUST FYI.
|
| SINCERLY GEORGE.
|