Not again

[cirianz]

So now I'm sitting here waiting for my vet to call back & tell me if my cat has leukemia, a lymphoma, or (a slim chance) an abdominal abcess. The last of which can be fixed by surgery.
My daughter's cat finally died a couple of weeks ago. I held her through the day while she died. If Jellybean has cancer though, it's not likely that he'll be able to come home to die. Likely he's already in quite a bit of pain. So he would have to be put down. Probably tonight.
So he's doing the ultrasound & another biopsy (the first one was no good as there was too much blood in it) & I'm waiting for that phone call. I hate waiting.
& Jellybean was totally healthy until 2 weeks ago. Then he disappeared for 6 days & showed up emaciated & weak. He'd lost much more weight than I would've thought in a week, but I still figured he'd probably just got shut in someones shed. He'd only just started to put a bit of weight back on the last couple of days, but he'd just started to develop what I thought was probably an upper respirotory infection. Malnourished cats are vulnerable to them. I thought the vet would just put him on some antibiotics & be sending him home.
The vet says sometimes cats with leukemia do that. They'll seem quite fine, then when the cancer starts making them 'uncomfortable' they'll disappear for a few days & will go downhill really fast after that.
I've just buried one cat, I don't think I can stand to do it again
Not again please
I hate waiting.

 

[Taffycat]

Oh this is so sad to hear Ciri, and horrible that it should happen so soon after losing your daughter's cat. I can just imagine how you must be feeling and yes, the waiting for news is always really hard, so many thoughts pass through your mind. You don't know whether to feel hopeful, or resigned - so you end-up totally anxious and screwed-up until the phone rings.

I really hope that the vet will discover something which is treatable meanwhile, I can only send you a big hug and lots of good wishes.

 

[cirianz]

Thanks TC
I phoned the vet about an hour ago & the receptionist said they were in the middle of shaving Jellybean for the ultrasound so they should've finished it by now. They were also doing another biopsy so I expect I'll let the vet have some lunch while I wait for the results (it's comming up 1pm now so I should probably allow him time to eat) but I do wish they'd hurry up

 

[floppybootstomp]

Good luck Ciri, here's hoping...

 

[cirianz]

The vet just called back & it's a lymphoma & because of the way that it is we won't be able to bring him home & let him die here because at the rate that he is wasting away he would basically starve to death.
I'll be going into the vet's this evening to say goodbye & to have him put down.
He's only about 4 years old. I remember when he was born.
The first time I held him he was just a tiny wee black & white maggot & no one else could figure out how I could tell him & his brother apart.
Jellybean had a little dot on his paw that sacha didn't have, but no one else picked it up.
I gotta go.

 

[cirianz]

Back.

 

[Taffycat]

Very sorry to hear that Ciri, another awfully sad time for you

In your place, the only comforting thought I would personally have found, is in the fact that he returned home to you, following his disappearance, so that you know his eventual fate. That is, I know, just grasping for a crumb, as it would have been so much happier if he'd returned in good health....which wasn't to be I can only send you another big hug and genuinely felt sympathy.

 

[nivrip]

Ciri, you have my sympathies.

Niv

 

[TriplexDread]

Awww noooo

Ciri i'm so sorry

 

[cirianz]

Thank you both of you
A big part of the shock is that he was so healthy right up until he dissapeared.
& this morning I thought he was just going in for some antibiotics.
It feels like a total kick in the guts out of nowhere.
I keep telling myself that, even though it's such a shock for me, at least it is the best for him. At least he was healthy & active & out there playing & chasing birds (we had to put a bell on him to stop him catching them) & all the things that he loves to do right up until the very end.
He went down so fast this last 2 weeks, but at least he was healthy all of those weeks before that.

Tomo noticed after we got home that it's exactly a month to the day since silver died

 

[cirianz]

Awww noooo

Ciri i'm so sorry

Thank you Trips
you must've posted while I was typing last night so I didn't see untill now Sorry.

 

[Rush]

You have my sympathy too ciri .

 

[Ian]

Sorry to hear this Ciri, big hug from me

 

[floppybootstomp]

Bad news gal, bad news.

You and yours have my sympathy.

 

[cirianz]

Thank you guys, pretty depressed today so the sympathies help
Yesturday took so long & yet everything happened so fast
(that makes no sense I know)
That today I sort of feel like I'm hanging
& sort of lost.
Like I'm still in the middle, but the story's already finished while I wasn't looking.
& I haven't quite figured out how to get from here to there yet.
Again it probably makes no sense to anyone else.

Thanks especially for the hug Ian
Very appreciated.