S
Spanky deMonkey
Bill Gates' New House
As many people have probably heard by now, Bill Gates built a new home, a
VERY large home, 35 garages, several buildings and so on. However, the
problems he's had with the house are much less known. The following is an
excerpt from a conversation Bill had with his new home contracters:
Bill: There are a few issues we need to discuss
Contractor: Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the
first 90 days and a $75 call thereafter. Okay?
Bill: Uh, yeah. The first issue is the living room. We think it's a little
smaller than we anticipated.
Contractor: Yeah, some compromises were made to have it out by the release
date.
Bill: We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.
Contractor: Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger
living room. Or you can use a stacker.
Bill: Stacker?
Contractor: Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
living room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on
the couch, the chairs on the table, etc. You leave an empty spot, so that
when you want to use some furniture, you can unstack what you need and put
it back when you're done.
Bill: Uh, I dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The
light bulbs we brought with us from our old house don't fit. The threads run
the wrong way.
Contractor: Oh, that's a feature! The bulbs you have aren't plug and play.
You'll have to upgrade to new bulbs.
Bill: And the electrical outlets? The holes are round instead of
rectangular. How do I fix that?
Contractor: That's another feature designed with the cusatomer in mind. Just
uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.
Bill: Your kidding!?!
Contractor: Nope, it's the only way.
Bill: (Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have guests,
someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so
low that the showers don't work.
Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to
terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures from
accessing.
Bill: And how do I fix that?
Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off
the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house. Then you can
get back to work.
Bill: That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?
Contractor: Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.
Bill: And when will it be fixed?
Contractor: Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release next
year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays...
Sound familiar.....
As many people have probably heard by now, Bill Gates built a new home, a
VERY large home, 35 garages, several buildings and so on. However, the
problems he's had with the house are much less known. The following is an
excerpt from a conversation Bill had with his new home contracters:
Bill: There are a few issues we need to discuss
Contractor: Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the
first 90 days and a $75 call thereafter. Okay?
Bill: Uh, yeah. The first issue is the living room. We think it's a little
smaller than we anticipated.
Contractor: Yeah, some compromises were made to have it out by the release
date.
Bill: We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.
Contractor: Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger
living room. Or you can use a stacker.
Bill: Stacker?
Contractor: Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
living room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on
the couch, the chairs on the table, etc. You leave an empty spot, so that
when you want to use some furniture, you can unstack what you need and put
it back when you're done.
Bill: Uh, I dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The
light bulbs we brought with us from our old house don't fit. The threads run
the wrong way.
Contractor: Oh, that's a feature! The bulbs you have aren't plug and play.
You'll have to upgrade to new bulbs.
Bill: And the electrical outlets? The holes are round instead of
rectangular. How do I fix that?
Contractor: That's another feature designed with the cusatomer in mind. Just
uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.
Bill: Your kidding!?!
Contractor: Nope, it's the only way.
Bill: (Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have guests,
someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so
low that the showers don't work.
Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to
terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures from
accessing.
Bill: And how do I fix that?
Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off
the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house. Then you can
get back to work.
Bill: That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?
Contractor: Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.
Bill: And when will it be fixed?
Contractor: Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release next
year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays...
Sound familiar.....