- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
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Johnny wanted to have his way with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me
have you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for £200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The bustuard used coins!"
-------------------------------------
THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE
The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised, answers,
"Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie
is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties & forties, it's like
a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"
"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me
have you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for £200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The bustuard used coins!"
-------------------------------------
THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE
The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised, answers,
"Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie
is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties & forties, it's like
a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"
"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
