The twelve affirmations of the Linux/Ubuntu Anonymous 12-step approach are

[NOT Alias - Thank GOD]

The twelve affirmations of the Linux/Ubuntu Anonymous 12-step approach are:

Step 1
I acknowledge that I am powerless before the multithreaded, time sharing,
virtually systemized, kick ass macrokernel that is GNU/Linux (or insert
other oddball OS here).

Step 2
I believe that only Bill Gates (or possibly Steve Jobs) can restore my
sanity.

Step 3
I understand and am willing to pay for the salvation of a commercial OS.

Step 4
I have confirmed "$pwd" returns "/" and "$ls -a -R > personal_inventory.txt"
is safely stored in my latest tape backup.

Step 5
I have personally emailed Microsoft (or possibly Apple) and cc'd myself and
my sponsor of my error in using a free operating system.

Step 6
I am prepared for a proprietary and popular OS to cleanse me of this GNU/FSF
taint.

Step 7
I have payed at the counter of retail for a licensed copy of salvation from
Bill Gates (or possibly Steve Jobs) and burned my last free ISO.

Step 8
I have created a distribution list in Microsoft Outlook of everyone I ever
convinced to try "free software".

Step 9
I have VB.net scripted the distribution list to repeatedly send until I have
contacted everyone I have corrupted, the script also makes assumptions about
possible changes in email addresses and modifies the send list to
accommidate predictable variations on the original adresses, exempting the
people who's ISP's are threatening to press charges on me for spamming.

Step 10
I have paid for a program which continually monitors all of my files so that
I may assess any needed updates or file corruption, I have also paid for
anti-spyware, I have paid for anti-virus software, I have paid for an office
suite, I have paid for a personal finance program, I have also paid for a
handful of these things they call PC games, and I have "leased" hundreds, if
not thousands, of songs from iTunes, so that I may continually assess my new
salvation and be able to compare in retrospect where I strayed in the past
and avoid such deviation in the future promptly with a fresh format and
install, or possibly pay for a badly needed product upgrade, or a new
product entirely, but only when these things I paid for don't work.

Step 11
I will stare at the frozen desktop in meditation with Microsoft (or possibly
Apple), and I will accept the offline popups as the will of Microsoft (or
possibly Apple), and I pray for the power of Microsoft (or possibly Apple)
to be able to follow the will of Microsoft (or possibly Apple) now and in
the future.

Step 12
Now that I have witnessed my own salvation through paying for an OS, I will
attempt to convince other people of the salvation they shall receive if they
were to drop their free software ways and accept the salvation of Microsoft
(or possibly Apple).

*The Apple operating system shall only be used as an intermediary step
towards a fully proprietary OS, which crashes, slows down, and fills up your
hard drive in a manner befitting such an investment

 

[Peter Foldes]

LOL. Add another one to the collection of alias(es)

 

[DanS]

The twelve affirmations of the Linux/Ubuntu Anonymous 12-step approach
are:

Step 1
I acknowledge that I am powerless before the multithreaded, time
sharing, virtually systemized, kick ass macrokernel that is GNU/Linux
(or insert other oddball OS here).

And that is dfferent from MS how ?

Step 7
I have payed at the counter of retail for a licensed copy of salvation
from Bill Gates (or possibly Steve Jobs) and burned my last free ISO.

And paid again, and again, and again......

Step 8
I have created a distribution list in Microsoft Outlook of everyone I
ever convinced to try "free software".

But then Outlook was hit by a virus and all of those people started
receiving tons of virus infected e-mails that you are unaware of being
sent.

Step 9
I have VB.net scripted the distribution list to repeatedly send until
I have contacted everyone I have corrupted, the script also makes
assumptions about possible changes in email addresses and modifies the
send list to accommidate predictable variations on the original
adresses, exempting the people who's ISP's are threatening to press
charges on me for spamming.

Using VB.Net says a LOT.

Step 10
I have paid for a program which continually monitors all of my files
so that I may assess any needed updates or file corruption, I have
also paid for anti-spyware, I have paid for anti-virus software, I
have paid for an office suite, I have paid for a personal finance
program, I have also paid for a handful of these things they call PC
games, and I have "leased" hundreds, if not thousands, of songs from
iTunes, so that I may continually assess my new salvation and be able
to compare in retrospect where I strayed in the past and avoid such
deviation in the future promptly with a fresh format and install, or
possibly pay for a badly needed product upgrade, or a new product
entirely, but only when these things I paid for don't work.

Honestly, you have paid for a license to be able to use this software.
You have not purchased the s/w.

Step 11
I will stare at the frozen desktop in meditation with Microsoft (or
possibly Apple), and I will accept the offline popups as the will of
Microsoft (or possibly Apple), and I pray for the power of Microsoft
(or possibly Apple) to be able to follow the will of Microsoft (or
possibly Apple) now and in the future.

Which means you are a truly a follower with no will of your own.