Some Written Signs

[nivrip]

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************
On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
**************************
At a Tyre Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.."
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************
Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************
In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a
RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
**********************

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

 

[bootneck02]

Nice one Nivrip

 

[muckshifter]

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

 

[Taffycat]

 

[nivrip]

A few new ones.

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
At the Electric Company: "We would be 'delighted' if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
At a Butane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."

 

[bootneck02]

 

[Anon_F]

 

[Taffycat]

 

[nivrip]

Seems to be time to resurrect this thread. Here are some more.


Cocktail Lounge, Oslo, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR pants HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

A Nairobi Kenya Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS, WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi, Kenya:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster in Adelaide, Australia:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a Montreal, Canada restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery, Houston, Texas:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS, IN BED.

Restaurant menu in Zurich,Switzerland :
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo, Japan Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel Athens, Greece:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Hiroshima, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID..

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Geneva, Switzerland:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Pnomh Penh, Cambodia:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen, Denmark:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A Laundry in Rome, Italy:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME!

 

[bootneck02]

 

[historian]

Those are just great,made me laugh out loud.

 

[Abarbarian]

A Laundry in Rome, Italy:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME!

I wonder how much a ticket to Rome costs.

 

[bootneck02]

They had nothing like that when I went to the Rome Olympics in 1960 otherwise I would have stayed there

 

[Abarbarian]

We went to vist friends on the Adriatic coast in Italy in the early 70's and there were topless ladies on the beach. My girlfriend insisted I escort her back to blighty otherwise I would have stayed and become a beach bum.
Strangely enough 50 years on and I am now a beach bum in me spare time. Now where were those two nudist beaches in Wales