Some new ones ... The Bleeding Obvious


I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition.
Mar 5, 2002
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As stated before (and proven many times over) the mere presence of a computer can short circuit normally intelligent people's brains. But sometimes it's just ridiculous.

  • Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
  • Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
  • Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Email from a customer:

I've bought a stolen CDD3610 which didn't come with any software or cables. Could you please send that to me? I presume I do have the full 12 months warranty?


  • Customer: "I would like to place an order."
  • Tech Support: "Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site."
  • Customer: "Web site?"
  • Tech Support: "You need access to a computer that's connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order."
  • Customer: "Where is the computer?"
  • Tech Support: "..."
Reminds me of Dell that one ...

  • Customer: "I have a message on my screen that says: 'Disk Full'. What can that be?"
  • Tech Support: "Maybe your disk is full."
  • Customer: "Hmmm. OK."
Brain is empty ... :D

A guy call up rather annoyed that the disks we'd sent him containing the latest version of our software didn't work.

  • Customer: "The install fails half way through. I tried several times, and it always fails at the same point."
  • Tech Support: "Did you see any kind of error message?"
  • Customer: "Yes."
  • Tech Support: "What did the error message say?"
  • Customer: "It said, 'Please insert Disk 2.'"
  • Tech Support: "Have you got another disk there?"
  • Customer: "Yes."
  • Tech Support: "Is it labelled 'Disk 2'?"
  • Customer: "Yes, it is."
  • Tech Support: "Insert that disk into the drive, and click 'OK'."
  • Customer: "Wow, thanks! That's fixed it. It's installing now. What was it, a faulty disk or something?"
WOW ...

  • Co-Worker: "This other guy came to me for help with his workstation, and I was wondering if you knew what was up." (describes symptoms)
  • Me: "Oh -- I've seen that before. Try typing in this command and see if that helps."

  • Co-Worker: "I typed in that command, and it didn't do any good."
  • Me: "Now, did you type this on YOUR machine or the machine of the person who was having the problem?"
  • Co-Worker: (pause) "Oh."

I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.

  • Student: "So it'll look up phone numbers for me?"
  • Me: "That's right."
  • Student: "Does it have to be on the right page?"
  • Me: "Uh, do you mean the right screen, or...?"
  • Student: "No, I know it has to be my own computer screen. But when I hold the phone book up to the screen for the computer to look up the number, does it have to be on the right page?"
All true ...

I do network administration and end user support. A particular clerical person was always having problems running Windows for Workgroups. The hard drive finally crashed, and when we got it back I convinced the boss to load her machine with DOS only. I created a batch file menu, tested it, and then compiled it into an exe file. When the person was at lunch I installed it on her machine.

When she came back from lunch she called and said her computer didn't work. I asked her to read the screen to me. She said "Bad Command or File Name." So I went over to her desk.

We started her machine and the file menu screen came up. It read:

  1. Main Frame
  2. Word Processing
Press the number of your choice and hit [enter].

It looked right, so I told her to press either 1 or 2 depending on whether she wanted to go to the main frame or the word processing package. She pressed 4. And, of course, we got the error. When I asked her why she pressed 4, she said, "It says press the number of my choice! I choose 4!"

4 is a good number ...

Giving instructions on how to use Microsoft Word

  • Me: "Type in a few words, or a test sentence."
  • Secretary: (skeptically) "With what?"
  • Me: "The keyboard."
  • Secretary: "The what?!?"
  • Me: "Keyboard. The jobbie in front of you with the keys on it."
  • Secretary: "Oh. That."
  • Me: "Yeah, it works like a typewriter."
  • Secretary: "I don't understand. (types a few words) "Oh! Hey! It works just like my typewriter!"
  • Me: "Uh-huh..."
WOW ... it types to.

That's all folks ...

Customer: "It just comes up with a message and says, 'Click OK.' ....... Now what?"
Apr 19, 2005
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Some classics there Mucks.....:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumb:
I've bought a stolen CDD3610 which didn't come with any software or cables. Could you please send that to me? I presume I do have the full 12 months warranty?

Dohhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!:wave: >I am a policeman Sir... so you should get 2Yrs with a bit of luck:lol:


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