- Joined
- Mar 5, 2002
- Messages
- 25,739
- Reaction score
- 1,204
As stated before (and proven many times over) the mere presence of a computer can short circuit normally intelligent people's brains. But sometimes it's just ridiculous.
Email from a customer:
A guy call up rather annoyed that the disks we'd sent him containing the latest version of our software didn't work.
I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.
I do network administration and end user support. A particular clerical person was always having problems running Windows for Workgroups. The hard drive finally crashed, and when we got it back I convinced the boss to load her machine with DOS only. I created a batch file menu, tested it, and then compiled it into an exe file. When the person was at lunch I installed it on her machine.
When she came back from lunch she called and said her computer didn't work. I asked her to read the screen to me. She said "Bad Command or File Name." So I went over to her desk.
We started her machine and the file menu screen came up. It read:
It looked right, so I told her to press either 1 or 2 depending on whether she wanted to go to the main frame or the word processing package. She pressed 4. And, of course, we got the error. When I asked her why she pressed 4, she said, "It says press the number of my choice! I choose 4!"
4 is a good number ...
Giving instructions on how to use Microsoft Word
That's all folks ...
Customer: "It just comes up with a message and says, 'Click OK.' ....... Now what?"
- Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
- Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
- Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
Email from a customer:
I've bought a stolen CDD3610 which didn't come with any software or cables. Could you please send that to me? I presume I do have the full 12 months warranty?
- Customer: "I would like to place an order."
- Tech Support: "Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site."
- Customer: "Web site?"
- Tech Support: "You need access to a computer that's connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order."
- Customer: "Where is the computer?"
- Tech Support: "..."
- Customer: "I have a message on my screen that says: 'Disk Full'. What can that be?"
- Tech Support: "Maybe your disk is full."
- Customer: "Hmmm. OK."
A guy call up rather annoyed that the disks we'd sent him containing the latest version of our software didn't work.
- Customer: "The install fails half way through. I tried several times, and it always fails at the same point."
- Tech Support: "Did you see any kind of error message?"
- Customer: "Yes."
- Tech Support: "What did the error message say?"
- Customer: "It said, 'Please insert Disk 2.'"
- Tech Support: "Have you got another disk there?"
- Customer: "Yes."
- Tech Support: "Is it labelled 'Disk 2'?"
- Customer: "Yes, it is."
- Tech Support: "Insert that disk into the drive, and click 'OK'."
- Customer: "Wow, thanks! That's fixed it. It's installing now. What was it, a faulty disk or something?"
- Co-Worker: "This other guy came to me for help with his workstation, and I was wondering if you knew what was up." (describes symptoms)
- Me: "Oh -- I've seen that before. Try typing in this command and see if that helps."
- Co-Worker: "I typed in that command, and it didn't do any good."
- Me: "Now, did you type this on YOUR machine or the machine of the person who was having the problem?"
- Co-Worker: (pause) "Oh."
I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.
- Student: "So it'll look up phone numbers for me?"
- Me: "That's right."
- Student: "Does it have to be on the right page?"
- Me: "Uh, do you mean the right screen, or...?"
- Student: "No, I know it has to be my own computer screen. But when I hold the phone book up to the screen for the computer to look up the number, does it have to be on the right page?"
I do network administration and end user support. A particular clerical person was always having problems running Windows for Workgroups. The hard drive finally crashed, and when we got it back I convinced the boss to load her machine with DOS only. I created a batch file menu, tested it, and then compiled it into an exe file. When the person was at lunch I installed it on her machine.
When she came back from lunch she called and said her computer didn't work. I asked her to read the screen to me. She said "Bad Command or File Name." So I went over to her desk.
We started her machine and the file menu screen came up. It read:
- Main Frame
- Word Processing
4 is a good number ...
Giving instructions on how to use Microsoft Word
- Me: "Type in a few words, or a test sentence."
- Secretary: (skeptically) "With what?"
- Me: "The keyboard."
- Secretary: "The what?!?"
- Me: "Keyboard. The jobbie in front of you with the keys on it."
- Secretary: "Oh. That."
- Me: "Yeah, it works like a typewriter."
- Secretary: "I don't understand. (types a few words) "Oh! Hey! It works just like my typewriter!"
- Me: "Uh-huh..."
That's all folks ...
Customer: "It just comes up with a message and says, 'Click OK.' ....... Now what?"
>I am a policeman Sir... so you should get 2Yrs with a bit of luck
