Proud to be a Kiwi

[cirianz]

A friend sent this to me & it made me laugh so I thought I'd stick up here
When reading the numbers remember that we are only a population of 4.15 Million people


Being a Kiwi...

Being a Kiwi is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and... Only in N.Z. ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in N.Z. ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their cough, cold, aspirin
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front checkout.


Only in N.Z. ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
a DIET coke.

Only in N.Z. ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in N.Z. ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the
drive and & lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in N.Z. ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.

Only in N.Z. ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skateboard park.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Kiwis are injured each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

58 Kiwis are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Kiwis are injured each year by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Kiwis had burns trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their
mouth.

A massive 543 Kiwis were admitted to emergency in the last two Years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. and finally.....

In 2005 eight Kiwis cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the
toilet

IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE KIWI SEND THIS ON_


Buncha brightsparks aren't we

 

[Anon_F]

 

[w.bishop]

Proud to be British

Subject: Proud to be British!




Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pen to the counters.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION THE STATISTICS.....

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.

IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE BRITISH SEND THIS ON!

 

[cirianz]

lol, well, you can tell where we came from
They say genetics will always out

 

[itsme]

31 Kiwis are injured each year by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.

How stupid can one become? "BANG" There #goes# another xmas# tree plant#

 

[Anon_F]

Subject: Proud to be British!
Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

in that order!

 

[Taffycat]

Those are so good ... and so true!

 

[cirianz]

lol, yes, that's the really scary part

 

[muckshifter]

... and, one more


1. Only in Scotland...can a pizza get to your house before an ambulance.

2. Only in Scotland...do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

3. Only in Scotland...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Irn Bru.

4. Only in Scotland...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

5. Only in Scotland...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the drive and keep our junk & lawnmowers in the garage.

6. Three Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

7. 142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

8. 58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives as screwdrivers.

9. 31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering Christmas trees while the fairy lights were on.

10. 19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that all Christmas decorations were made of chocolate.

11. Scottish hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

12. 101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

13. 19 Scots have had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumpers with a lit cigarette in their mouths.

14. A massive 543 Scots were admitted into A & E in the last two years after opening beer bottles with their teeth.

15. 5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.

16. In 2000 80 Scots cracked their skulls while throwing up into the toilet.

17. And finally ... Only the Scots know how to make the best porridge in the world


NEXT!

 

[cirianz]

RROTFLMAO

Aaaahhhhh... but how many scots end up in hospital each year when hit by flying porridge during a food fight?