Paranoiaaaaa

[slumpy]

Got cheap 4.0 soundcard.

Got cheap 4.0 s/s speakers.

Installed.

No good.

Fiddled.

No Good.

D/l updated drivers....too many to choose from, take pot luck.

Installed.

Ah, sound.

One channel only.

Check settings.

Correct settings.

Aaaah, blissful surrou- hang on.

One speaker not working.

Steal speaker from other machine.

Not working.

Damn shit **** bollocks.
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)

 

[Guest]

Got cheap 4.0 soundcard.

Got cheap 4.0 s/s speakers.

Installed.

No good.

Fiddled.

No Good.

D/l updated drivers....too many to choose from, take pot luck.

Installed.

Ah, sound.

One channel only.

Check settings.

Correct settings.

Aaaah, blissful surrou- hang on.

One speaker not working.

Steal speaker from other machine.

Not working.

Damn shit **** bollocks.

I expect the Mrs and the neighbours are now appreciating true 4
something or another sounds. I knew a technician once who used to work
on such problems using "suck it and see" - which came down to shoving
the phone plugs in his mouth one by one and seeing which produced hum
from the speakers and which didn't. That is, until one day when the
fault happened to be the coupling capacitor in the amplifier and so he
applied +60V DC to his teeth instead. Now those were real four
something or another sound effects..

 

[Ben Cooper]

I think you need to install new drivers.

 

[=?ISO-8859-1?Q?Brian_H=B9=A9?=]

Got cheap 4.0 soundcard.

Got cheap 4.0 s/s speakers.

Installed.

No good.

Fiddled.

No Good.

D/l updated drivers....too many to choose from, take pot luck.

Installed.

Ah, sound.

One channel only.

Check settings.

Correct settings.

Aaaah, blissful surrou- hang on.

One speaker not working.

Steal speaker from other machine.

Not working.

Damn shit **** bollocks.

You should have nicked a speaker that worked

 

[gigajosh]

Buy cheap stuff.
Get pissed off cos it doesn't work.
Promise yourself never to buy cheap stuff again.
Buy more cheap stuff.
Get even more pissed off when it's crap..
Promise yourself NEVER to buy cheap stuff again
...
Buy cheap stuff

Why can't anyone make cheap stuff that works?!!

 

[Yddap]

In

Got cheap 4.0 soundcard.

Got cheap 4.0 s/s speakers.

Installed.

No good.

Fiddled.

No Good.

D/l updated drivers....too many to choose from, take pot luck.

Installed.

Ah, sound.

One channel only.

Check settings.

Correct settings.

Aaaah, blissful surrou- hang on.

One speaker not working.

Steal speaker from other machine.

Not working.

Damn shit **** bollocks.

Awwwh Diddums
;-)


Yddap

 

[slumpy]

....and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel Palindrâ~»me
decided it was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:

I expect the Mrs and the neighbours are now appreciating true 4
something or another sounds. I knew a technician once who used to work
on such problems using "suck it and see" - which came down to shoving
the phone plugs in his mouth one by one and seeing which produced hum
from the speakers and which didn't. That is, until one day when the
fault happened to be the coupling capacitor in the amplifier and so he
applied +60V DC to his teeth instead. Now those were real four
something or another sound effects..

Oh boy, a real-life comedy 'exploding' haircut too eh ?
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)

 

[slumpy]

....and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel Ben Cooper
decided it was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:

I think you need to install new drivers.

No, there is a minimal contact as I plug one speaker in - it's the wiring in
the actual main speaker that is the problem.
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)

 

[slumpy]

....and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel gigajosh decided
it was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:

Buy cheap stuff.
Get pissed off cos it doesn't work.
Promise yourself never to buy cheap stuff again.
Buy more cheap stuff.
Get even more pissed off when it's crap..
Promise yourself NEVER to buy cheap stuff again
..
Buy cheap stuff

Why can't anyone make cheap stuff that works?!!

Usually it does - I know the guy they came from so no great hassle, but just
a PITA last night.
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)

 

[Fran]

Why can't anyone make cheap stuff that works?!!

In my experience, Lite-On can

 

[slumpy]

....and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel Fran decided it
was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:

In my experience, Lite-On can

True.

My rewriter is the best I've had.

Now I can't find the bloody box they came in....

Oh well, 3.0 sound it is then :-(
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)

 

[Guest]

...and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel Fran decided it
was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:




True.

My rewriter is the best I've had.

Now I can't find the bloody box they came in....

Oh well, 3.0 sound it is then :-(

3.0 sound, when you only have two ears? Then how do you...oh, never mind.

 

[slumpy]

....and with no more than a cursory glance at the dead camel Palindrâ~»me
decided it was time to put the World to rights with this little gem:

3.0 sound, when you only have two ears? Then how do you...oh, never
mind.

Exactly.

Maybe the jack plug /doesn't/ go there after all.....but that's what the guy
said when I called him at 2am anyway...
--
slumpy
no more
no less
just me
(well what the **** did you expect ?)