New Chemical Element Discovered

[nivrip]

Scientific research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one proton, 25 assistant protons, 88 deputy protons, and 198 assistant deputy protons, giving it an Atomic Number of 312. There are also 23 neutrons, 96 deputy neutrons and 236 assistant neutrons giving an Atomic Mass of 667.



All of these particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called lunes. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it is an anti-catalyst and impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, which would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years.



An atom of this size would be expected to undergo spontaneous radioactive decay but in fact Governmentium does the exact opposite – it increases in size and has an anti-half life, sometimes known as a double-life. The increase in mass seems to be caused by morons turning into protons by some unknown method and appears to be never ending. Also there are frequent reorganisations in the nucleus when groups of assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places in what appears to be a totally random manner.



This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical density level. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.



Governmentium is often found naturally in the close proximity of Administratium (Ad), which has very similar properties, particularly huge numbers of morons.



Not all scientists agree, however. Some feel that Governmentium and Administratium are simply other forms of Inertium. More work needs to be done.

 

[floppybootstomp]

Ho hum.

More negativity aimed at 'oh my goodness everything is bad'

True, there's a lot of crap going down.

There is also a lot of good stuff going down.

Which is something lots of folk tend to overlook.

Hey, just for one day, when you wake up, make out you're 18 again.

Try and remember that feeling of optimism you had, how the future looked good.

Ok?

Now make another post saying how good things are going to happen.

What do you mean - you can't?

I may be older than you mr nivrip but I will never ever ever give in to pessimism.

 

[FSman]

yo lighten up floppy its a joke mate dont take everything to heart

 

[nivrip]

More negativity aimed at 'oh my goodness everything is bad'

make out you're 18 again.

Try and remember that feeling of optimism you had, how the future looked good.


Now make another post saying how good things are going to happen.

For god's sake Flops , it's a joke. It's a light hearted take on reality, I think.

Who said I was optimistic when I was 18? And who said the future looked good ?

I personally think that it's your view on the light heartedness that is negative.


I have ALWAYS been optimistic and felt good about the future.

 

[Taffycat]

Each to their own views... it gave me a good chuckle, particularly as I'd just been listening to a couple of Gv Morons - or were they Neutrons - on Radio 4's 'Today Programme'

 

[floppybootstomp]

Sorry folks but those 'jokes' - and there's a thousand of them doing the rounds on the Internet - just rub me up the wrong way.

To me their attitude is just the same as foks moaning. I've gone on about this before but what do Brits do when they actually start talking to each other - they moan, usually about the weather or how late the bus is.

These 'humourous' diatribes, to me, have exactly the same attitude - an assumed superiority and a smugness.

I'm not humourless - far from it, but there's humour and there's humour.

When a stranger moans to me I nearly always disagree with them and take the opposite stance - this usually brings a look of confusion followed by silence.

I may be wrong about the age 18/optimism thing though, I tend to forget that's the prime age for a young man to commit suicide. It just seems to me now, at this age, I was more optimistic then. Maybe, maybe not, can't really remember.

Anyways, I'll let you all feel cosy with this stuff and politely ignore these type of threads in the future.

Carry on

 

[Taffycat]

An interesting viewpoint Flopps but some of our "esteemed leaders" like to adopt an air of "assumed superiority and smugness" themselves, don't you think, which can be quite comical, (regardless of their political persuasion) I guess that's why they become prey to a bit of satire. I would agree that not all satirical comment is funny, but occasionally something quite clever will pop-up and make one chuckle... I hadn't really thought of it as being anything more "deep" than that though ...

So pleeeeease don't feel cross... in fact, let's pass around the catnip cookies

 

[nivrip]

Hmm... Strange thing humour.

Still, we're all different I suppose.

 

[floppybootstomp]

Ok, I've been thinking and I've read that thing again.

And I will confess for one reason or another I have been under a lot of stress lately and as a result am likely experiencing slight mood swings.

Having read it a second time I will admit it doesn't follow quite the attitude I took it to the first time I read it.

Perhaps my comments were out of line and if so I hope I didn't cause any hurt feelings.

I still stand by the rest of my comments though and in future will keep a discreet distance from any threads of the nature I described above.

Carry on