MONKEYS TAKE OVER MICROSOFT SITE

[Wendy & John]

MONKEYS TAKE OVER MICROSOFT SITE

After my complaint about a Virus created by Microsoft which
damaged my equipment beyond use when I installed WinXP
in my second computer, there was an avalanche of comments
from persons expert in fixing Microsoft OS problems. This is
a tough problem, because it does not respond to the F8 boot
procedure and the protected mode can not be used to uninstall.

With no solutions to offer, the Microsoft MONKEY TEAM had to
take over. These are experts at respinning Microsoft problem
descriptions on behalf of Microsoft when they don't know how
to fix them, primarily (or primately) by ridiculing the victim.

As a monopoly, Microsoft actually can send a team of monkeys
to jeer at a frustrated customer and the customer has to take it.

The Microsoft monkeys, stunned by the opportunity to make
intelligent constructive comments, gave these solutions:


MONKEY 01: It's not a virus !! It's not a virus !! It's not a virus !!
MONKEY 02: You should have read the license details before installing.
MONKEY 03: Use the F8 boot anyway. Type sys c at the prompt.
Ask for a refund.
MONKEY 04: Look in your rear view mirror to see if the FBI is following
you.
MONKEY 05: I have 20 years of computing and you don't have a clue,
"****wit."
MONKEY 06: You wouldn't have a clue if it walked up to you with a "Clue"
sign.
MONKEY 07: You couldn't get a clue if you smeared their body with clue
musk.
MONKEY 08: You want some cheese with your whine?
MONKEY 09: Most XP problems are caused by a faulty keyboard/chair
interface.
MONKEY 10: You trashed your system by your own ignorance/incompetence.
MONKEY 11: What the hell is wrong with you? You installed it knowing
nothing.
MONKEY 12: Learn to live with your mistake.
MONKEY 13: Don't say "Virus." Microsoft calls it "Anti-theft
Mechanism."
MONKEY 14: You deserve the damage because you tried to pirate the O/S.
MONKEY 15: Don't try to shed responsibility for damage you caused
yourself.
MONKEY 16: Quit acting like a spoiled brat. You screwed up. It's your
fault.
MONKEY 17: I have the solution. Get the original computer packing
boxes....
MONKEY 18: That's a great solution. Great minds, great minds...
MONKEY 19: You're probably right!
MONKEY 20: Go back and read the license details you should have read.
MONKEY 21: How dare you call the OS I took the time to learn "A Virus."


Monkey business aside, I did receive some sincere answers, plus some
welcome advice about avoiding exposure to SPAM. None of the proposed
XP answers worked for me, but I am thankful that some people took the
time to offer them. I have found my own solution to what I originally
acknowledged is MY problem, but I don't intend to share it because I want
to avoid the cruel name-calling, the should'ves, and the profanities which
spew forth when the smallest pearl is tossed before this group. In closing;

1.) I believe some good must arise from the Microsoft XP Support/Help
Newsgroup and I encourage posters to continue communicating.

2.) Even though it comes from Microsoft: If it looks like a Virus,
moves like a Virus, acts like a Virus, and smells like a Virus:
It's a Virus !! It's a Virus !! It's a Virus !!

Yours truly, John E. Ardans

________________________________________________________________

 

[Frank]

Couldn't help but read your post. Very clever, sincerely, I imagine I could
appreciate it a bit more if I knew what you were talking about? But, I guess
you do not want to share that.
Frank L

 

[Frank]

OK, I found your original post. The only problem I see is the statement
about damage to your system? SOftware DOES NOT damage hardware. You are
right to be mad, but at the same time , be correct. If you got ridiculed as
you say, that stinks, and i believe you. But, I also must add that the
answer(s) to your problem can be found all over the internet. Uninstall xp,
remove xp, cannot remove xp, etc, etc.
Frank L

 

[Jupiter Jones [MVP]]

John;
Your insults to all responders is totally unwarranted and says more
about your character than about us.
Calling my self and everyone else a monkey just because we told you
the facts that you did not like.
Some people may have responded inappropriately, but that does not
excuse your rudeness to everyone else.

As far as Windows is concerned you have an illegal copy.
It still gave you 2 weeks courtesy to make it right.
You have a few other options to make it right.
Instead you come back here crying again because we did not give you a
free easy solution, never mind that it does not exist.
Did you even read the box?

Not to mention you have a hard time telling the difference between a
virus and a system to help prevent theft.

You can either take the options given you already or as I might
suggest this as a better option as you would get support elsewhere:

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/prod...ype=19&dept=3944&path=0:3944:3951:41937:86796

 

[Guest]

I'm posting here because it seems like I might have the same problem as Mr. Ardans. I'd rather avoid the monkeys, though I have yet to run into any. I tried upgrading from Windows 98SE to Windows XP Pro (from a legitimate upgrade cd) on a relatively old computer(roughly three or so years old, I would imagine). I've done everything I can think of to get it working, but when I first rebooted after installing, it said some of the system files were missing or corrupt. It wouldn't let me have a c:\ prompt, but it did offer me the recovery console C prompt. I tried bootcfg, fixboot, and fixmbr, all to no avail. I had no way of reaching SFC or CMD because I had no way to get to them. I restarted each time, only to be shown a brief glimmer of XP's scandisk running before the computer would restart. I tried reinstalling several times - same problem. I tried switching hard drives (although the other had 98SE installed too) - same problem. I tried flashing the BIOS on the system board. I tried the XP setup diskettes Microsoft has on the website to boot off those - different problem. It won't read any floppies except my old 98 startup diskette. So, I used that to get to a c:\ prompt and tried to run anything I could from there - nothing doing. I tried switching floppy drives - no change. I tried different floppies - nothing. I'm running out of ideas.

So, if Mr. Ardans, or anyone else for that matter, I'd love to hear from you. If Mr. Ardans would rather provide some off-site advice my email is definitely (e-mail address removed).

Thanks.

 

[JAX]

Most difficulties experienced with Windows XP are the direct result of a
faulty keyboard/chair interface.

JAX

 

[Jupiter Jones [MVP]]

Did you verify hardware and software compatibility for Windows XP.
Especially #3 Upgrade Advisor on this link:
http://www.microsoft.com/WindowsXP/pro/howtobuy/upgrading/default.asp

You mentioned you tried a few times, did you try a Clean Installation?
http://www3.telus.net/dandemar/cleanxp.htm

--
Jupiter Jones [MVP]
An easier way to read newsgroup messages:
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/pro/using/newsgroups/setup.asp
http://www3.telus.net/dandemar/

I'm posting here because it seems like I might have the same problem

as Mr. Ardans. I'd rather avoid the monkeys, though I have yet to run
into any. I tried upgrading from Windows 98SE to Windows XP Pro (from
a legitimate upgrade cd) on a relatively old computer(roughly three or
so years old, I would imagine). I've done everything I can think of to
get it working, but when I first rebooted after installing, it said
some of the system files were missing or corrupt. It wouldn't let me
have a c:\ prompt, but it did offer me the recovery console C prompt.
I tried bootcfg, fixboot, and fixmbr, all to no avail. I had no way of
reaching SFC or CMD because I had no way to get to them. I restarted
each time, only to be shown a brief glimmer of XP's scandisk running
before the computer would restart. I tried reinstalling several
times - same problem. I tried switching hard drives (although the
other had 98SE installed too) - same problem. I tried flashing the
BIOS on the system board. I tried the XP setup diskettes Microsoft has
on the website to boot off those - different problem. It won't read
any floppies except my old 98 startup diskette. So, I used that to get
to a c:\ prompt and tried to run anything I could from there - nothing
doing. I tried switching floppy drives - no change. I tried different
floppies - nothing. I'm running out of ideas.

So, if Mr. Ardans, or anyone else for that matter, I'd love to hear

from you. If Mr. Ardans would rather provide some off-site advice my
email is definitely (e-mail address removed).

 

[Shenan Stanley]

MONKEYS TAKE OVER MICROSOFT SITE

After my complaint about a Virus created by Microsoft which
damaged my equipment beyond use when I installed WinXP
in my second computer, there was an avalanche of comments
from persons expert in fixing Microsoft OS problems. This is
a tough problem, because it does not respond to the F8 boot
procedure and the protected mode can not be used to uninstall.

With no solutions to offer, the Microsoft MONKEY TEAM had to
take over. These are experts at respinning Microsoft problem
descriptions on behalf of Microsoft when they don't know how
to fix them, primarily (or primately) by ridiculing the victim.

As a monopoly, Microsoft actually can send a team of monkeys
to jeer at a frustrated customer and the customer has to take it.

The Microsoft monkeys, stunned by the opportunity to make
intelligent constructive comments, gave these solutions:


MONKEY 01: It's not a virus !! It's not a virus !! It's not a
virus !! MONKEY 02: You should have read the license details before
installing. MONKEY 03: Use the F8 boot anyway. Type sys c at the
prompt. Ask for a refund.
MONKEY 04: Look in your rear view mirror to see if the FBI is
following you.
MONKEY 05: I have 20 years of computing and you don't have a clue,
"****wit."
MONKEY 06: You wouldn't have a clue if it walked up to you with a
"Clue" sign.
MONKEY 07: You couldn't get a clue if you smeared their body with
clue musk.
MONKEY 08: You want some cheese with your whine?
MONKEY 09: Most XP problems are caused by a faulty keyboard/chair
interface.
MONKEY 10: You trashed your system by your own
ignorance/incompetence. MONKEY 11: What the hell is wrong with you?
You installed it knowing nothing.
MONKEY 12: Learn to live with your mistake.
MONKEY 13: Don't say "Virus." Microsoft calls it "Anti-theft
Mechanism."
MONKEY 14: You deserve the damage because you tried to pirate the
O/S. MONKEY 15: Don't try to shed responsibility for damage you
caused yourself.
MONKEY 16: Quit acting like a spoiled brat. You screwed up. It's
your fault.
MONKEY 17: I have the solution. Get the original computer packing
boxes....
MONKEY 18: That's a great solution. Great minds, great minds...
MONKEY 19: You're probably right!
MONKEY 20: Go back and read the license details you should have read.
MONKEY 21: How dare you call the OS I took the time to learn "A
Virus."


Monkey business aside, I did receive some sincere answers, plus some
welcome advice about avoiding exposure to SPAM. None of the
proposed
XP answers worked for me, but I am thankful that some people took the
time to offer them. I have found my own solution to what I
originally acknowledged is MY problem, but I don't intend to share it
because I want to avoid the cruel name-calling, the should'ves, and
the profanities which spew forth when the smallest pearl is tossed
before this group. In closing;

1.) I believe some good must arise from the Microsoft XP
Support/Help Newsgroup and I encourage posters to
continue communicating.

2.) Even though it comes from Microsoft: If it looks like a
Virus, moves like a Virus, acts like a Virus, and smells
like a Virus: It's a Virus !! It's a Virus !!
It's a Virus !!

Yours truly, John E. Ardans

________________________________________________________________

If you solved your problem, it likely came from this newsgroup or a
Microsoft phone call. It was likely simple and suggested several times (or
illegal) and your not sharing it does not hurt anything in my mind as most
people don't start a conversation as a raving outraged individual and leave
in the same manner - which tells me that taking said advice might not be
encouraged by those of sound mind and calm stature in the first place.

I congratulate you on your solution, whatever it might have been.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the help. I hadn't checked the hardware/software compatibility page. Unfortunately, it's a Dell XPS B800, which is listed as being compatible with XP. And, really the only software that was on the old one was 98SE itself, so I'm hoping that would be compatible.

As for doing a clean instally, I think I did. I looked at the site you suggested, and it looks like I did everything there. I'm going to try it again, just to make sure.

Thanks again for the help. Any other suggestions?

 

[Jupiter Jones [MVP]]

Is there any hardware in the computer that did not come with it?
If so remove it.
It may just be a good idea to remove anything not essential to
installation of Windows XP.
Remove sound, network and other cards other than video.
Reseat video card and memory.
If you have multiple sticks of memory, remove/swap out memory sticks
ensuring to stay at or above Windows XP minimum of 64mb.

You could reinstall Windows 98 SE and perform Upgrade Advisor (step 3)
on that link.

--
Jupiter Jones [MVP]
An easier way to read newsgroup messages:
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/pro/using/newsgroups/setup.asp
http://www3.telus.net/dandemar/

Thanks for the help. I hadn't checked the hardware/software

compatibility page. Unfortunately, it's a Dell XPS B800, which is
listed as being compatible with XP. And, really the only software that
was on the old one was 98SE itself, so I'm hoping that would be
compatible.

As for doing a clean instally, I think I did. I looked at the site

you suggested, and it looks like I did everything there. I'm going to
try it again, just to make sure.

 

[MJ]

You forgot to include your email address today. Oh well, the spam spiders already have
it and you will soon be inundated by spam. You really have a chip on your shoulder - I'd
consider immediate counseling. Plonk.

 

[Joseph Meehan]

John, you would have received more polite responses if you have not, as
I recall, started off blaming Microsoft. Just stating the problem would
have worked.

BTW this is not a "Microsoft: site. The only relationship to Microsoft
is the subject and the operating system most of us us.

 

[Geoff]

I love it! I laughed my ass off!! Way to go!
Geoff

-----Original Message-----
MONKEYS TAKE OVER MICROSOFT SITE

After my complaint about a Virus created by Microsoft which
damaged my equipment beyond use when I installed WinXP
in my second computer, there was an avalanche of comments
from persons expert in fixing Microsoft OS problems. This is
a tough problem, because it does not respond to the F8 boot
procedure and the protected mode can not be used to uninstall.

With no solutions to offer, the Microsoft MONKEY TEAM had to
take over. These are experts at respinning Microsoft problem
descriptions on behalf of Microsoft when they don't know how
to fix them, primarily (or primately) by ridiculing the victim.

As a monopoly, Microsoft actually can send a team of monkeys
to jeer at a frustrated customer and the customer has to take it.

The Microsoft monkeys, stunned by the opportunity to make
intelligent constructive comments, gave these solutions:


MONKEY 01: It's not a virus !! It's not a virus !! It's not a virus !!
MONKEY 02: You should have read the license details before installing.
MONKEY 03: Use the F8 boot anyway. Type sys c at the prompt.
Ask for a refund.
MONKEY 04: Look in your rear view mirror to see if the FBI is following
you.
MONKEY 05: I have 20 years of computing and you don't have a clue,
"****wit."
MONKEY 06: You wouldn't have a clue if it walked up to you with a "Clue"
sign.
MONKEY 07: You couldn't get a clue if you smeared their body with clue
musk.
MONKEY 08: You want some cheese with your whine?
MONKEY 09: Most XP problems are caused by a faulty keyboard/chair
interface.
MONKEY 10: You trashed your system by your own ignorance/incompetence.
MONKEY 11: What the hell is wrong with you? You installed it knowing
nothing.
MONKEY 12: Learn to live with your mistake.
MONKEY 13: Don't say "Virus." Microsoft calls it "Anti-theft
Mechanism."
MONKEY 14: You deserve the damage because you tried to pirate the O/S.
MONKEY 15: Don't try to shed responsibility for damage you caused
yourself.
MONKEY 16: Quit acting like a spoiled brat. You screwed up. It's your
fault.
MONKEY 17: I have the solution. Get the original computer packing
boxes....
MONKEY 18: That's a great solution. Great minds, great minds...
MONKEY 19: You're probably right!
MONKEY 20: Go back and read the license details you should have read.
MONKEY 21: How dare you call the OS I took the time to learn "A Virus."


Monkey business aside, I did receive some sincere answers, plus some
welcome advice about avoiding exposure to SPAM. None of the proposed
XP answers worked for me, but I am thankful that some people took the
time to offer them. I have found my own solution to what I originally
acknowledged is MY problem, but I don't intend to share it because I want
to avoid the cruel name-calling, the should'ves, and the profanities which
spew forth when the smallest pearl is tossed before this group. In closing;

1.) I believe some good must arise from the Microsoft XP Support/Help
Newsgroup and I encourage posters to continue communicating.

2.) Even though it comes from Microsoft: If it looks like a Virus,
moves like a Virus, acts like a Virus, and smells like a Virus:
It's a Virus !! It's a Virus !! It's a Virus !!

Yours truly, John E. Ardans

_________________________________________________________ _______



.

 

[Bruce Chambers]

Greetings --

IOW, you learned where _you_ had screwed it up in the first place,
and are too embarrassed to admit it. We understand.

Bruce Chambers

--
Help us help you:



You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on
having both at once. -- RAH