One day I will set up a website that has the names and addresses and phone numbers of all the directors of all major retailers. I think it will quickly become the most popular site on the web, and I will be able to employ private detectives to continually update the information !
How satisfying it would be to ring the CEO at home in the evening, just as he sits down for dinner, and tell him that his crap company has mugged me off. Or tell his wife what a rip-off operation he runs.
How satisfying it would be to know that the CEO could only escape this by changing his number, and that he would have all the hassle of telling all his friends and business associates the new number. Then, satisfied that he had dealt with the problem, he would sit down to his dinner thinking he was safe. But no, my detectives have got his new number, so the phone rings and it is me again – “Hello, how are you this evening, the computer you sold me is broken, you have had it for eighteen years …….” !
How satisfying it would be to publish the ridiculous fantasy responses we get from customer service people, with their names etc. We could hold a monthly competition for the best nonsense dished out to a customer, with the lucky customer who had to listen to it being awarded a meal for two (or twenty two depending on the size of their family) in the restaurant of our choice (which would be the one where our detectives had discovered that the CEO of the company in question just happened to be dining that night).
How satisfying it would be to set up our own call centre so that the CEO’s could complain about us ……. “Hello, thank you for calling youlyingsod.com. Your call may be recorded so that our staff can listen to you having a stroke at our Christmas Party. Please hold until 2007 when we will tell you that we are busy and cut you off. Alternatively you can waste more time by sending us an email which we will put unread in the aircraft hanger we have bought for the purpose”.
In time the website would be a meeting place for all disgruntled customers. We could arrange outings to selected CEO’s homes, with a convoy of lorries containing the rubbish products, and a band and cheerleaders, and have a barbecues on the green outside his house while the faulty goods are piled up on the driveway. We could take pictures of all the fun and publish them on the website.
Our site would spawn the worlds’ first customer services lawsuit which would prove that a call to X companys’ call centre was more stressful than moving house, getting divorced, being boiled alive etc. A record-breaking billion pound award would be made, and the CEO would be sentenced to a day of ringing his own call-centre.
In time people would want to have a faulty product and totally abysmal customer service, just so they could be part of our club and join in the fun .
Anyone got any ideas for a name for the site, or any nice touches we could add?
Ted
How satisfying it would be to ring the CEO at home in the evening, just as he sits down for dinner, and tell him that his crap company has mugged me off. Or tell his wife what a rip-off operation he runs.
How satisfying it would be to know that the CEO could only escape this by changing his number, and that he would have all the hassle of telling all his friends and business associates the new number. Then, satisfied that he had dealt with the problem, he would sit down to his dinner thinking he was safe. But no, my detectives have got his new number, so the phone rings and it is me again – “Hello, how are you this evening, the computer you sold me is broken, you have had it for eighteen years …….” !
How satisfying it would be to publish the ridiculous fantasy responses we get from customer service people, with their names etc. We could hold a monthly competition for the best nonsense dished out to a customer, with the lucky customer who had to listen to it being awarded a meal for two (or twenty two depending on the size of their family) in the restaurant of our choice (which would be the one where our detectives had discovered that the CEO of the company in question just happened to be dining that night).
How satisfying it would be to set up our own call centre so that the CEO’s could complain about us ……. “Hello, thank you for calling youlyingsod.com. Your call may be recorded so that our staff can listen to you having a stroke at our Christmas Party. Please hold until 2007 when we will tell you that we are busy and cut you off. Alternatively you can waste more time by sending us an email which we will put unread in the aircraft hanger we have bought for the purpose”.
In time the website would be a meeting place for all disgruntled customers. We could arrange outings to selected CEO’s homes, with a convoy of lorries containing the rubbish products, and a band and cheerleaders, and have a barbecues on the green outside his house while the faulty goods are piled up on the driveway. We could take pictures of all the fun and publish them on the website.
Our site would spawn the worlds’ first customer services lawsuit which would prove that a call to X companys’ call centre was more stressful than moving house, getting divorced, being boiled alive etc. A record-breaking billion pound award would be made, and the CEO would be sentenced to a day of ringing his own call-centre.
In time people would want to have a faulty product and totally abysmal customer service, just so they could be part of our club and join in the fun .
Anyone got any ideas for a name for the site, or any nice touches we could add?
Ted