- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Messages
- 6,175
- Reaction score
- 2
1.Heard on the radio this morning about a guy who walked into a bank and presented a teller with a note that read, "I have a gun. Give me all your money. Bang." The teller gave him the money and he walked out of the bank. He was caught only a short while later. Why? He had written the note on the back of his parole card.
2.The fellow robbed something like a supermarket of about $5000 (value approximate and probably wrong, since it is from fuzzy memory). The local newspaper ran the story, but with the amount given as $7000. The thief called the newspaper to complain about the inaccuracy and to suggest that maybe the store manager ripped off the extra $2000 and was unjustly blaming the thief. The people at the newspaper kept him busy on the phone giving his version of the story while the police traced the call to a phone booth and arrived to arrest him while he was still talking to the newspaper!
3.I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that thieves have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.
4. Well, there's one about this crook who tries to get away from the police, in the middle of the night, and runs into the forest, but hey, whaddaya know, he's wearing 'em LA GEAR light shoes, so the police have zero problems tracking him down in the dark with his sneakers flashing red with every step.
5. I heard about a man who walked into a high-stakes poker game one night armed with a *single-barrel* shotgun and announced a stickup. He then fired the shotgun into the ceiling to show he meant business.
6. A Newfoundlander was accused of purse snatching. He decided to represent himself in court rather than hire a lawyer.
The first question he asked the lady on the witness stand was "Did you actually SEE my face when I took your purse?"
7. One robbed a bank, and on his way out left a loan application.
A man is accused of robbing vending machines. He was convicted when he tried to pay his bail with quarters.
9. This one happened few years ago in Switzerland:
A man went to a photo shop; had pictures taken, and -- while the photographer developed the pictures -- he took off with the cash register.
Leaving behind, of course, the pictures.
10. Louisiana- a man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? ... Fifteen dollars.
2.The fellow robbed something like a supermarket of about $5000 (value approximate and probably wrong, since it is from fuzzy memory). The local newspaper ran the story, but with the amount given as $7000. The thief called the newspaper to complain about the inaccuracy and to suggest that maybe the store manager ripped off the extra $2000 and was unjustly blaming the thief. The people at the newspaper kept him busy on the phone giving his version of the story while the police traced the call to a phone booth and arrived to arrest him while he was still talking to the newspaper!
3.I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that thieves have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.
4. Well, there's one about this crook who tries to get away from the police, in the middle of the night, and runs into the forest, but hey, whaddaya know, he's wearing 'em LA GEAR light shoes, so the police have zero problems tracking him down in the dark with his sneakers flashing red with every step.
5. I heard about a man who walked into a high-stakes poker game one night armed with a *single-barrel* shotgun and announced a stickup. He then fired the shotgun into the ceiling to show he meant business.
6. A Newfoundlander was accused of purse snatching. He decided to represent himself in court rather than hire a lawyer.
The first question he asked the lady on the witness stand was "Did you actually SEE my face when I took your purse?"
7. One robbed a bank, and on his way out left a loan application.
A man is accused of robbing vending machines. He was convicted when he tried to pay his bail with quarters.
9. This one happened few years ago in Switzerland:
A man went to a photo shop; had pictures taken, and -- while the photographer developed the pictures -- he took off with the cash register.
Leaving behind, of course, the pictures.
10. Louisiana- a man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? ... Fifteen dollars.