Couple of Questions

[crazylegs]

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had
syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?


Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.



Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?


Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist
He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.


Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in
college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.




Which of these candidates would be your choice?




Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

​

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.



And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES, you just killed Ludwig Van Beethoven.




Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.


Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading..







Never be afraid to try something new.


Remember:

Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic


And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more
than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...




Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?




​

​

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to
keep people in line.

​

 

[nivrip]

LOL, Hitler could hardly cheat on his wife. They were only married the daybefore they both committed suicide in their bunker which was surrounded by the Red Army.

Not much time for marital hanky panky even.

 

[floppybootstomp]

Another one of those American posts which I think I must have read at least ten years ago

Winston Churchill probably did sleep until noon, what our colonial cousins see fit not to mention is that during the war effort he probably stayed up 18 hours a day.

 

[crazylegs]

Yeah I know!!!

Only posted it up for a laugh guys..don't take it to literally..

 

[Nobody in particular]

Only posted it up for a laugh guys..don't take it to literally..

Thought it was really interesting to be honest, Cheers for sharing CL

 

[floppybootstomp]

Ok, I know, I'm being a great big grumpy old bald eagle

But these hackneyed (mostly) USA 'witticisms' have been doing the rounds since forever.

I best just hush up in future, lol

 

[crazylegs]

I got some others I might post up here too just for a laugh though..

 

[crazylegs]

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
Thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
Thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
Light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
Honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
And then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
Loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
Yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
Stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
And gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
They got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
When I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
Through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
Before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
Them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
For such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

 

[floppybootstomp]

I got some others I might post up here too just for a laugh though..

No doubt you will



I see Nivrip's just posted another one dated circa '98...

It's me isn't it?

I am Mr Grumpy and these American humourisms are the height of jollity, wit and good taste.

Mr Flops, just get in your kennel and sleep for 48 hours, you old git

 

[floppybootstomp]

That Grandma one was, in my opinion, dead funny, made me laugh. And I hadn't seen it before.

Nice one

 

[nivrip]

I see Nivrip's just posted another one dated circa '98...

It's me isn't it?

I am Mr Grumpy

'94 actually.

Yes.

Correct.

 

[Nobody in particular]

Love the Grandma one!!!

Have to confess, that I copied it and sent it to some of me mates. Hope you don't mind lol.