Beats me! How about you?


Hon. Acoustical Engineer
Mar 16, 2002
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1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards--NAIVE.

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. . Does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

6. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?

7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

8. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

10. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny?

13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

14. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

15. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

16. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?

17. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

18. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

19. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

20. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

21. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

22. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge. Would they call it Fed UP?

23. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

24. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

25. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

26. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use...Toothpicks?

27. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

28. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:




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