A little poem for you all!!!!!!

[gabriella]

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port
And the bus is interrupted at a very last resort
And the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item, followed by a dash
And the double-clicking icon, puts your window in the trash
And your data is corrupted, cause the index doesn't hash
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable, on the table at your house
Says the network is connected, to the button on your mouse
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall:

And your screen is all distorted, by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window, are as wavy as a souse;
Then you may as well reboot it, and go out with a bang
Cuz sure as I'm a poet, then the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy on your floppy's, getting sloppy in the disk
And the macro code instructions, cause unecessary risk
Then you'll have to flash the BIOS, and you'll want to RAM your ROM
Then just quickly turn the darn thing off, and run to tell your Mom!

(Author not known but not me either!!!)

Gabs xx

 

[Anon_F]

great poem

Great poem Gabs, it's good to see that their are people on this site more eccentric than me

 

[gabriella]

Hello Feckit

I am pretty mad!!!

Gabs xx

 

[itsme]

I am pretty mad!!!

you said it


Like the poem

 

[Anon_F]

Sorry Gabs

Sorry Gabs, Thought the poem was really good, my sense of humour is a bit eccentric at times. I apologize for any offence caused & if it upset you

 

[muckshifter]

haha ... not seen that one before, there were quite a few like that. Really clever and true.





* mucks goes off to find some more *

 

[muckshifter]

I like this one ... it's got Linux in it.

Fifty ways to crash your Windows
sing it to the tune "Fifty ways to Leave your Lover"

"The problem is all inside your box", she said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows."
She said "It's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope these packets won't be lost or misconstrued
So while you boot again, at the risk of being blue'd
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows ...
fifty ways to crash your windows."

Install a new pack Jack, tap on the can, Stan
Its just a lil' toy, Roy, just listen to me
Use a PCI Bus, Gus, don't need to touch much
Start PGP, Lee, the blue screen you will see!

She said "I see you've got BSOD again
I think if you stopped crashing you'd feel a lot less pain."
I said, "I appreciate that, and can you please explain
how to stop the crashing?"

She said, "Why don't we just install Linux tonight
And I believe that the penguin can soon set things aright."
And then I shut down and I realized she probably was right
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows ...
fifty ways to crash your windows.

Just flip out the stack, Jack, ping it to death, Beth,
Adjust the screen, Gene, just take it from me.
Try'n see what you ran, Dan, or access the 'Raid', babe,
Look for new mail, Dale, its easy to see.

 

[gabriella]

You have nabbed my thread Mr Muckshifter!!!!!!

Feckit - not at all, I thought the poem (my one!!) was quite good and particularly as I am doing a Build Your Own PC Course which is fraught some weeks with rigs that just will not work!!! We were changing BIOS, moving to partitioning and then formatting the hard drive the other night and the machine myself and 2 others were working on wasn't having any of it!!!!

Gabs xx

 

[Anon_F]

self help videos

Good way to start PC building is a course that shows you what to do. I did one like yours a few years ago, soon learnt all about how a pc is built and all about bios, fdisk & formating, still get it wrong sometimes these days

Some interesting diy/self build videos at: http://www.quepublishing.com/promotion/3033
Good luck with the build

 

[TriplexDread]

PMSL @ Mucks

U naughty naughty man

 

[gabriella]

TriplexDread

What does PMSL stand for?

Gabs xx

 

[CITech]

TriplexDread

What does PMSL stand for?

Gabs xx

Hi Gabs, love the poem, so very true.

I've got one here somewhere about problems with TeleWest so I will try to dig it out for you. And by the way .....

PMSL = P***ing My Self Laughing (Try not to, it makes a mess!)

Have fun, CI

 

[gabriella]

Hi CI

I knew it would be something like that - just couldn't work out the actual letters and what they stood for!!!!

Love

Gabs xx

 

[CITech]

Problems with TeleWest?

Found it, I knew it was around here somewhere!


Fed up with Telewest Surf Unlimited:

I signed up on Cable to surf all for free,
I'm dialling, She's dialling, we're dialling all three,
It sounded so good not to pay for the time,
But would be much better if we got online.

Clicking connect was the obvious choice,
But all we can ping with is some woman's voice,
Saying she's sorry for Telewest's messes,
While failing to allocate IP addresses.

Surfing unlimited - pie in the sky!
My connect click finger now has RSI,
No Usenet, no email, no Effing Tee Pee,
No DN, no S and no access for me.

But lately, less busy, less woman, less Hell;
More modems, more routers, more whistle and bell;
Less need for me to click, less waiting and linger,
All I need now is a splint for me finger.

Enjoy

 

[w.bishop]

Telewest

Hi Citech I liked what you wrote, but I think it is unfair to Telewest.
I joined Telewest about six months ago, they connected me in two days and I have not had a problem since.
I have tried three other companies and none of them have been up to Telewest standards.

 

[CITech]

Hi Citech I liked what you wrote, but I think it is unfair to Telewest.
I joined Telewest about six months ago, they connected me in two days and I have not had a problem since.
I have tried three other companies and none of them have been up to Telewest standards.

Fair comment Mr B. I can't take the credit for composing this, but having dealt with their Business Service division a while ago, I can sympathise with the person who did write it.

Thankfully, it would appear that they do look after some of their customers better than other, but I didn't mean to cause offence to anyone, just enhancing the poetic stream

 

[cirianz]

ROTFPMSL... whoops


Fantastic poems