What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers
What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake
What wobbles and flies?
A jelly-copter
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
What's the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike
What's furry and minty?
A polo bear
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a grasshopper?
A wooly jumper
What is black and white and noisy?
A zebra with a drum kit
What do you call a man who used to be interested in tractors?
An ex-tractor fan
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate
What's brown and sweet and glides around an ice rink?
Bourneville and Dean
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam
What's orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney at Christmas?
Fanta Claus!
Hear about the man that collected five thousand door knockers?
He won a nobel prize
How much must you know to be an auctioneer?
Lots
What cereals do cats like?
Mice Crispies
Which players in an orchestra can't you trust?
The fiddlers
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate
How do hedgehogs make love?
Very carefully
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?
How do cows subtract?
With a cow-culator
(W)rapping paper
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers
What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake
What wobbles and flies?
A jelly-copter
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
What's the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike
What's furry and minty?
A polo bear
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a grasshopper?
A wooly jumper
What is black and white and noisy?
A zebra with a drum kit
What do you call a man who used to be interested in tractors?
An ex-tractor fan
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate
What's brown and sweet and glides around an ice rink?
Bourneville and Dean
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam
What's orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney at Christmas?
Fanta Claus!
Hear about the man that collected five thousand door knockers?
He won a nobel prize
How much must you know to be an auctioneer?
Lots
What cereals do cats like?
Mice Crispies
Which players in an orchestra can't you trust?
The fiddlers
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate
How do hedgehogs make love?
Very carefully
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?
How do cows subtract?
With a cow-culator
