What have i missed ?

Rush

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Hello everyone ..i am back to planet Earth after my 1 year secret space journey to Mars..so what have i missed in that time ? :D
 

floppybootstomp

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Not a lot.

World War III came and went and we won - just.

We now have a new strategically important airstrip on Baffin island as a result of that victory but Richard Branson intends to buy it from the Military to run space journeys for the general public at £500.000 a seat.

And somebody named Fergie retired.

And Bewitched reformed and are playing Fleetwood Butlins this summer.
 

Rush

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Damn ..and i thought fergie retired to take over Stoke City...bummer
 

Taffycat

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Welcome back Rush, good to see you. So, how was the Martian hospitality..? Hope it was up to expectations..:D
 

Rush

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Cheers Folks..Mars was ok , just a little too quiet for me :lol:
 

Becky

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Great to see you back, that's quite a holiday you've had! :thumb:
 

nivrip

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Here's some stuff about visits to Mars for anyone else who would like to go there.


Visa
All foreigners are required to obtain a visa before entering Mars, at the embassy of Mars in Antarctica. Be sure to make a personal trip to the embassy, or else your application will be rejected. If you arrive without a visa, be prepared for the Martian customs to fling you out into deep space. It will be very sad indeed.
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WARNING There are many things that you cannot bring into Mars, for the customs are even stricter than those in Australia and New Zealand, and even Singapore,in order to protect the fragile eco-diversity of Mars. No fresh foods, pets, rotten foods, wooden, plastic, metals, oil-based, starch-based, cotton, polyester and China-made products are allowed beyond the customs. If any of the products are found, the death penalty is mandatory and you will be killed by Electric Chair in front of the entire planet on Martian global TV, MTV1 (similar to Earth's CNN).
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WARNING Check the season before going because winter lasts 8 Earth months with temp. of -500 so I recommend summer
Arrival

1. By Space

Mars' primary gateway is the Mount Olympus International Spaceport (which will be larger than the one planned in Dubai) in the city of Xanthe. . It is one of the worst spaceports in the universe, with many earthlings wondering why there are restrooms for 3 different genders.
Access to Mount Olympus International Spaceport is only by space travel, which takes several months from Earth. Be prepared for a very long flight, although most shuttle services are actually quite comfortable, and you can float yourself in the spacecraft all the way like all NASA people do on television. Great for kids. Several airlines or 'spacelines' are able to take you all the way to Mars:
  • NASA operates flights once every 3 earth years. However, it has a very poor safety record (it is not allowed to enter the EU) with almost half of all spaceships ending up in flames.
  • Russian Federal Space Agency , one of the 'babyflots' founded as the Soviet Space Program dissolved together with USSR under Gorbachev. Its base is now in neighbouring Kazakhstan. I don't think they will operate any flights soon.
  • China National Space Administration , providing very cheap flights to Mars based primarily on cheap labour. However, since the spacecraft is a China-made product, it is not allowed to land on Mars, and all passengers have to parachute down through the atmosphere.
2. By Teleportation

You can teleport to Mars straight away. However, the wormhole to Mars is presently (I think, for it's the CIA's secret) in Baghdad, Iraq, so probably that's why the Americans attacked - to control Mars!
Getting around

"Bounding" is a common way of getting about outside of structures, and many Earthlings are suprised how fast and smoothly they can actually move. Remember to be careful not to bump into other "bounders," as this is rude and can cause injury. Large cities have excellent public transportation services, such as subways, monorails, and buses.



:D
 

Quadophile

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You didn't have to rush back on earth Rush! However, good to see you back on the planet. :cheers:
 

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