J
Jeff Conrad
To commemorate the 2nd anniversary of the Access Junkie Top 10 List,
here is another list to help you get through a tough work week.
Here you go:
Top 10 Ways To Tell Your Doctor Is An Access Junkie:
10. As you enter the office you are suddenly stopped at the front
door by a nurse who screams:
"Security Warning - Unsafe patients are not blocked!!"
"Do you wish to proceed?"
9. Amongst all the other personal information needed on the
"New Patient" form you notice this line:
Jet Service Pack Level: ___
8. Your prescription reads, "Debug two databases and call me in the morning."
7. You notice the doctor's appointment schedule bears a striking resemblance
to Duane Hookom's sample calendar reports. Hummm........
6. While sitting in the waiting room you hear this over the intercom,
"Dr. Snell to the Chem lab please, Dr. Snell to Chem Lab. Thank You."
5. In the medicine cabinet you notice a bottle labeled:
"Look-up Field Wizard Antidote."
4. Your doctor refers you to another specialist. Puzzled by this you ask
the doctor what the diagnosis is. With a very gloomy look on his face and
a very long pause he responds:
"...(big sigh)....It's not good......You're committing spreadsheet. I'm sorry."
3. You notice all the doctor's instruments and utensils are named following
the Reddick, Leszynski Naming Conventions guidelines.
2. Your jaw drops to the floor after receiving your bill in the mail. After calling
the doctor's office and complaining for 10 minutes the receptionist replies
back with one simple sentence:
Simple 1-M Relationship: "One bill --> Many stupid expenses tacked on"
And the Number 1 Way To Tell Your Doctor Is An Access Junkie:
1. You're amazed at how well organized the medicine cabinet is. You then
notice a small plaque above the cabinet. Not being able to make it out, you
get off the examination table and walk over to the cabinet to get a closer look.
The plaque reads:
The Vinson Grandma Pantry Principle:
"A place - ONE place! - for everything, and everything in its place"
If you have seen your own personal physician showing any Access Junkie
tendencies, feel free to pass them along!
here is another list to help you get through a tough work week.
Here you go:
Top 10 Ways To Tell Your Doctor Is An Access Junkie:
10. As you enter the office you are suddenly stopped at the front
door by a nurse who screams:
"Security Warning - Unsafe patients are not blocked!!"
"Do you wish to proceed?"
9. Amongst all the other personal information needed on the
"New Patient" form you notice this line:
Jet Service Pack Level: ___
8. Your prescription reads, "Debug two databases and call me in the morning."
7. You notice the doctor's appointment schedule bears a striking resemblance
to Duane Hookom's sample calendar reports. Hummm........
6. While sitting in the waiting room you hear this over the intercom,
"Dr. Snell to the Chem lab please, Dr. Snell to Chem Lab. Thank You."
5. In the medicine cabinet you notice a bottle labeled:
"Look-up Field Wizard Antidote."
4. Your doctor refers you to another specialist. Puzzled by this you ask
the doctor what the diagnosis is. With a very gloomy look on his face and
a very long pause he responds:
"...(big sigh)....It's not good......You're committing spreadsheet. I'm sorry."
3. You notice all the doctor's instruments and utensils are named following
the Reddick, Leszynski Naming Conventions guidelines.
2. Your jaw drops to the floor after receiving your bill in the mail. After calling
the doctor's office and complaining for 10 minutes the receptionist replies
back with one simple sentence:
Simple 1-M Relationship: "One bill --> Many stupid expenses tacked on"
And the Number 1 Way To Tell Your Doctor Is An Access Junkie:
1. You're amazed at how well organized the medicine cabinet is. You then
notice a small plaque above the cabinet. Not being able to make it out, you
get off the examination table and walk over to the cabinet to get a closer look.
The plaque reads:
The Vinson Grandma Pantry Principle:
"A place - ONE place! - for everything, and everything in its place"
If you have seen your own personal physician showing any Access Junkie
tendencies, feel free to pass them along!
