Thanks to one and all ...

[muckshifter]

Good Morning and or Evening to you all.

A heartfelt "Thank You" You know who you are???

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cos I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and should be considered a "household" cleaner.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all ... but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (GMT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Thanks to my elderly aunt whom I have been teaching that not everything she receives in e-mail is legit for sending me this delightful email.

I didn't want to miss passing it on to 144,000 people in seven minutes so I just posted it here. That seemed the safest way to protect me from pigeon stuff.

mucks

 

[CITech]

So having given up all those things, I assume you had too much time on your hands, and that's why you have taken up Linux?

Cheers for the list Mucks, made me smile

 

[Adywebb]

You mean these arn't true?

 

[Ian]

Haha I really do wonder when people send these round We've all seen them, so some e-mail forwards must see millions of people!

 

[ChristopherP]

Ive no problem with funny fwd's...

Its the "Send this to 50 people and your crush will ask you out or you will have bad love life for the next 7 years"

 

[Becky]

Ha ha, that's fantastic!

Forwards really get on my nerves, I have to keep telling my non-technically minded friends that they are NOT true! Bless

 

[psd99]

lol nice one

so whoever sent this to u
i wonder if they still BREATE, WINK and TALK!

gosh!

 

[kingnathski88]

I must admit though, that some of them do make me think and have meanings

 

[gabriella]

Yes I know what you mean - some of them drive me mad and play on the vulnerable. They are the modern equivalent of the chain letter in my opinion and the best place for the majority of them is in the delete box or the bin as my mother used to say!!

Gabs xx

 

[itsme]

"Charity begins at home"

Lend us a fiver Ivor!

 

[Alf]

brilliant mucks, most some of these ive actually heard of!

 

[cirianz]

LOL, yeah me too. Usually I just bin them, although a few have given me a laugh. But the ones that "Threaten" you if you don't send them on, those ones P*ss me off. Most of my friends know not to send me those ones anymore.

Oh, & mucks... does that mean it really is safe for me to wear deodorant? *phew* John will be relieved!!!

 

[ChristopherP]

wearing deodrant if your'e female poses a larger threat of cancer than if your a guy because of the less armpit hair, the chemicals soak in and do actually pose a risk. Was on TV t'other day, Richard & Judy on CH4

 

[Becky]

Yes, I've heard something like that about anti-perspirants. To be honest, there is a lot in the world that can harm the average person - if we avoided it all we'd never 'live'.

 

[cirianz]

Yes, it's supposed to be the Aluminium content or something. The was a big hullaballo about it in the lat 80's early 90's & I tried using one of those "safe" Mineral sticks... unfortunately this stuff was sooooo... safe that it had no effect whatsoever and the thought of living a l-o-n-g healthy life at a 3m radius from any of my friends didn't appeal.

 

[Me__2001]

if we listened to scientists and doctots we'd never eat and live in a bubble

 

[Quadophile]

Do whatever you like and live life to the brim! 30 years back we made mistakes and found out now , its too late to correct them anyway, what's done cannot be undone. Besides what we are involved in we will know 30 years later where we went wrong and it would be too late again

Thats 2 generations gone, when do you stop worrying about dying and start living? Give me a break will ya?