Abbreviate, abbrvt, abbv!
For some examples that should fit:
HELP! WinME XL07 Can't Get Work Done
ASAP! Win2K XL-vFUBAR Slctd Cels Invis?
Me, NOW! W2K3 XL03 Random wbks, ws's, cells, lookup?
Plz Hlp, I just don't understand XL
(now this one, I can deal with)