Does anyone out there know...
I have this 520mb hard drive and...
Can i seperate my Os from my data and loose data?... (What's that you
say, Virginia? Where's the middle "a", you ask? But that's how the
word is pronounced, is it not? "Sep-er-ate" or "sep-er-it". You can't
expect them to spell it "separate", can you? And maybe his or her's
data *is* "loose" and we know it's possible to lose data when it's
"loose". Well, don't we?)
how do u partion and format a hard drive?... (Look, Virginia -
they're in a hurry to get it all out. So what if they leave out a
middle "ti". We all know what they mean, yes? and isn't it easier to speak
of a "par-shin"
rather than a "par-tish-in"?). The next thing you know you'll be
demanding that they spell "formating" "formatting". Sheesh!)
Lately I've been using Kaaza and...
I just installed a brand-new hard drive and XP can't see it...
Why is my 'puter so slowwww? I have this 486... (Yes Virginia, I know
they mean "computer", but don't you think it's kind of cute? And
surely all those added "w's" add emphasis, don't they?)
Why do I get this black screen when I boot up? (Of course there's
nothing more to read since that' all there is.)
How can i partion (why *do* they always spell it this way?) my hard
drive into C, D, E, F, G, K, M and Z partions?
What's the best monitor (processor, RAM, motherboard, hard drive,
etc., etc...?)
My printer's not working...
I discovered I have 12 viruses on my computer and...
(Responding to a previous posting) Look, you stupid son-of-a...
I'm the IT guy in charge of a network of 350 machines and...
My hard drive makes loud clicking and grinding noises when...
Recently, when I fired up the 'ol PC... (Yes, Virginia, I know
they're the same ones who use "'puter".)
My hard drive makes loud clicking and grinding noises when.
Recently, when I fired up the 'ol PC.(Yes Virginia, I know they're
the same ones who use "'puter".)
A funny thing happens when I try to shutdown my computer... (Yeah,
it's simply hilarious.)
I found out I had a bad spot on my hard drive and...
Here's the deal...
When I fired up my 'puter this morning I noticed this odor of burning
rubber...
This is really wierd... (Sure Virginia. We all know it's "e" before
"i" except after "c", but give 'em a break, won't you?)
ISN'T THERE SOMEONE ON THIS NEWSGROUP WHO WILL ANSWER MY QUESTION
ABOUT...
I know this is a silly (stupid, dumb) question, but...
i have this cd-rom i bought in 1996 and...
This probably won't be much help to you, but... (Yes, Virginia, we
all know it probably won't be of much help to us. C'est la vie.)
OK guys, here's one for you...
Lately my 5 1/4" floppy drive has been acting wierd... (Yes, Ginny -
may I call you that? No? Oh, ok then. Anyway, that's the way 5 1/4"
floppy drive owners spell it.)
I have 4 drives spread out over 10 partions and...
Gotta weird one for ya...(Yes, Virginia, we know it's another cutesy
expression that they think of as a hook that will get them a response
or two. And it usually works.)
Hey,...
After I moved the pagefile...
After I modified the MBR and activated the boot record option...
What the hell is happening when I... (Yes Virginia. I know it's
probably due to moving the pagefile and modifying the MBR and
activating the boot record option.)
im confused about this bios thingy...(or whatever "thingy")
I lost my product key and...(Say again Virginia? They've opened up a
Product Key Lost & Found facility located just outside Redmond, WA?
That's certainly good news for the losers.)
My HD makes a whirrr-clickclick sound, sometimes a brrrr sound,
and... (Oh Virginia, don't be so harsh. He just thinks if he imitates
those awful sounds it will give us a clearer picture in order to diagnose
his
problem.)
I'm having a problem with my AOL connection. It seems... (Yes
Virginia, they're still in business. And I promise not to repeat the
name.)
What's a BIOS? I can't seem to find it in my folders... (Virginia!
Such language coming for a lady!)
Well I can't use a disk because I have no Boot Disk, only a red
diskette... (Yes, Virginia, I know. Those red diskettes *are* damn
problems!)
So I switched to the blue motherboard... (Of course. He should never
have used that red one that caused the problem in the first place.)
My system has 8 hard drives... (I know it's a lot, Virginia, but he
goes on to say he likes "space".)
Oh, and I forgot to mention. Also the clock stops.(Virginia, stop
humming "I Didn't Know What Time It Was"!)
Please understand I don't want to loose this data... (Please don't
sneer Virginia. It contorts your lovely face and makes you look ugly.
And besides, what's the harm of an extra "o" among friends?)
AND HELP WOULD BE WELCOME, BUT SCRUTINIZED! wannab's, erroneous
quick-fixes, and questionable approaches will be researched...!!!!!
(Boy, he's a tough one, ain't he Virginia? No one's gonna pull the
wool over that boy's eyes. And did you notice the five (count 'em!)
exclamation marks? Whew!)
My bad!... (No, Virginia. It's not an incomplete sentence that needs a
following adjective or noun. It's a declarative statement that's
shorthand for "I made a booboo". At least I think that's what it is.)
HEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A cry of distress
is not necessarily a summons to relief.)
Subject line reads: "monitor bounces up and down". (This is a very
common problem with monitors from a certain monitor manufacturer who
shall remain nameless. Seems their monitors were manufactured in a
facility on the US - Mexican border and a substantial number of
Mexican jumping beans got into the innards of the monitors. No one is
quite sure how this happened,
or really wants to know, however the problem is easily remedied by
pressing the keyboard's Pause key three times in quick succession
when the bouncing begins. Some wags have also maintained that it's
useful to hum the Mexican national anthem while doing so, but who the
hell knows the Mexican national anthem?)
It has come to this reporter's attention that some of you may harbor
harsh thoughts concerning Virginia's personality and agenda. Please
believe me when I tell you that based upon my many years of cavorting with
this
young-at-heart lady, a more sweeter, more unassuming, more
understanding person would be harder to find than our dear Virginia.
Understand, that for one thing, she's unfamiliar as to what goes on
in the typical "Language Arts" classes here in the U. S. So she entertains
some old-fashioned
ideas concerning good grammar, solid syntax and sensible spelling.
Please bear with her and show tolerance toward those idiosyncrasies. In
addition,
Virginia just hasn't, until lately, perused the newsgroups in many a
year. Her last observations were made in those halcyon days of the
early to mid 90's when CompuServe was the dominant ISP (for the
world!) and its forums (I don't think they were called "newsgroups"
back then) were populated by men & women of good will who had a
reasonable grasp of the English language, expressed themselves
clearly, and get this - were technically proficient. I think I'm
going to cry. But the price, Ugarte, the price. Ay, there's the rub.
But all is not lost. Thank goodness for the Nichols', the Chambers',
the Kelly's, the Bakken's, the Blake's, the Cari's, the Frisch's, the
Sengupta's,
the Urban's, the Malke's, the McCarty's, et al. How they do it day
after day, nay - hour after hour, boggles this poor reporter's mind. God
bless
'em all. And Merry Christmas to one and all.
