BSOD gets a facelift

J

john

04/13/07 - Blue Screen of Death gets a facelift

REDMOND, WA -- In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers and end-users to customise the appearance of the Blue Screen of
Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.

The move comes as a result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys.
Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked: "What do you spend the most
time doing at your computer?"

A surprising number of respondents said: "Staring at a Blue Screen of
Death". At 54%, it was the top answer, beating the second-place answer -
"Downloading porn" - by an easy 12 points.

"We immediately recognised this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our
channel partners, and especially our customers." Explained the excited
Ballmer to a room full of reporters. Immense video displays were used to
show images of the new customisable BSOD, which appeared side-by-side with
the older, boring and static version.

Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them instead
to have a Mauve Screen of Death, or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics
and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the
BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and
entertainment to Windows users.

The BSOD is by far the most recognised feature of the Windows operating
system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total
control of its look-and-feel. This recent departure from that policy
reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as "the
ultimate information portal". By default, the new BSOD will be configured to
show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system
crashes. Channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to
customise the BSOD on systems they ship, for a fee of course.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, SEC & Dell are already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer
concluded by getting a dig into Apple Mac and the Open Source community:
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much
faster pace than Open Source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even
has a BSOD, let alone a customisable one."

--
=======================================
"- At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the image is that they
all come from the top - I'm afraid that's not quite right."
- Bill Gates
=======================================
 
J

Joey DoWop Dee

04/13/07 - Blue Screen of Death gets a facelift

REDMOND, WA -- In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers and end-users to customise the appearance of the Blue Screen of
Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.

....

Tell me this is a joke, please.
 
D

DevilsPGD

In message <[email protected]> Joey DoWop
Dee said:
...

Tell me this is a joke, please.

"A surprising number of respondents said: "Staring at a Blue Screen of
Death". At 54%, it was the top answer, beating the second-place answer -
"Downloading porn" - by an easy 12 points."

When was the last time any Windows OS would let you look the BSOD for
more then a fraction of a second without rebooting?

Yes, it's a joke.
 
D

DP

Joey DoWop Dee said:
...

Tell me this is a joke, please.

How could you think otherwise? (But that doesn't mean this won't wind up in
a forwarded email to millions of people who, like you, will think it's
true.)
 
G

Guest

john said:
04/13/07 - Blue Screen of Death gets a facelift

REDMOND, WA -- In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers and end-users to customise the appearance of the Blue Screen of
Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.

The move comes as a result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys.
Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked: "What do you spend the most
time doing at your computer?"

A surprising number of respondents said: "Staring at a Blue Screen of
Death". At 54%, it was the top answer, beating the second-place answer -
"Downloading porn" - by an easy 12 points.


*Applause*

Brilliant.


Eric the Grey
 
N

NotMe

My BSOD stays there until I push the power button.
But I turn off automatically reboot on error.
 
R

ray

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, SEC & Dell are already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer
concluded by getting a dig into Apple Mac and the Open Source community:
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much
faster pace than Open Source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even
has a BSOD, let alone a customisable one."


Very good. In fact Linux lacks a BSOD - or at least I have yet to see one
in five years.
 
R

Ray Rogers

john said:
04/13/07 - Blue Screen of Death gets a facelift

REDMOND, WA -- In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers and end-users to customise the appearance of the Blue Screen of
Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.
That was just great, too bad you missed April 1st with it.

Actually, they're going to incorporate it into a prompt for UAC, that way
you'll never know for sure whether the system crashed or it was user error.
 
N

Nina DiBoy

john said:
04/13/07 - Blue Screen of Death gets a facelift

REDMOND, WA -- In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers and end-users to customise the appearance of the Blue Screen of
Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.

The move comes as a result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys.
Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked: "What do you spend the most
time doing at your computer?"

A surprising number of respondents said: "Staring at a Blue Screen of
Death". At 54%, it was the top answer, beating the second-place answer -
"Downloading porn" - by an easy 12 points.

OMG, I almost sh*t myself reading this from laughing so hard!
"We immediately recognised this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our
channel partners, and especially our customers." Explained the excited
Ballmer to a room full of reporters. Immense video displays were used to
show images of the new customisable BSOD, which appeared side-by-side with
the older, boring and static version.

Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them instead
to have a Mauve Screen of Death, or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics
and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the
BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and
entertainment to Windows users.

Features such as brand advertising and delivering fatal errors in the
color of your choice. said:
The BSOD is by far the most recognised feature of the Windows operating

Staring at a crash screen is a "feature" of windows, just like the
gaping security holes in wood 2007 are a feature. said:
system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total
control of its look-and-feel. This recent departure from that policy
reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as "the
ultimate information portal". By default, the new BSOD will be configured to
show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system
crashes. Channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to
customise the BSOD on systems they ship, for a fee of course.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, SEC & Dell are already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer
concluded by getting a dig into Apple Mac and the Open Source community:
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much
faster pace than Open Source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even
has a BSOD, let alone a customisable one."

Yes, windows is way ahead of other OSes that have no need of such
features (crashes).

--
Priceless quotes in m.p.w.vista.general group:
http://protectfreedom.tripod.com/kick.html

Most recent idiotic quote added to KICK (Klassic Idiotic Caption Kooks):
"hahaha...oh, I do detect a hint of jealousy or what! Where Darrell
actually helps people all you do is beg for attention. Shame on you! Go
get professional psychological clinical help with your obvious problems
and stop your bandwidth sucking bullshit postings in this ng. (rip,
snort, belch, burp, chuckle)"

"Good poets borrow; great poets steal."
- T. S. Eliot
 
N

Nina DiBoy

DP said:
How could you think otherwise? (But that doesn't mean this won't wind
up in a forwarded email to millions of people who, like you, will think
it's true.)

Funny thing is that it is not far from the truth.

--
Priceless quotes in m.p.w.vista.general group:
http://protectfreedom.tripod.com/kick.html

Most recent idiotic quote added to KICK (Klassic Idiotic Caption Kooks):
"hahaha...oh, I do detect a hint of jealousy or what! Where Darrell
actually helps people all you do is beg for attention. Shame on you! Go
get professional psychological clinical help with your obvious problems
and stop your bandwidth sucking bullshit postings in this ng. (rip,
snort, belch, burp, chuckle)"

"Good poets borrow; great poets steal."
- T. S. Eliot
 
D

Doris Day

ray said:
Very good. In fact Linux lacks a BSOD - or at least I have yet to see one
in five years.

You can run Windoze in VMWare under Linux if you miss having a BSOD.

Love and Kisses,
Doris
 
D

Doris Day

Alias said:
Not mine. I want to write down the error code.
Why? So you can go to MickeyMouse's support centre and read a dozen or
so "solutions" that generally start with ... "try this" and if that doesn't
work "try that" and if it still doesn't work "try the other". :)

Cheers.
 
A

Alias

Doris said:
Why? So you can go to MickeyMouse's support centre and read a dozen or
so "solutions" that generally start with ... "try this" and if that doesn't
work "try that" and if it still doesn't work "try the other". :)

Cheers.

I usually use Google which gives me a good idea what hardware or
software conflict is the culprit. Mind you, I have had about three with
XP Pro since 2003 so it isn't something I think a whole lot about.

Alias
 

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