999 What is your emergency?

[Taffycat]

Here are some of the more bizarre reasons why folk decided to dial 999:

• "My mum put a deposit down on a fridge freezer and they haven't delivered it - they keep changing the delivery date."

• "I am [at] Heathrow and I have left one of my bags in a taxi?"

• "I have seen a fox walking outside the window and I wanted to report it in case it's dangerous."

• "Basically, I'm in N8 and I'm trying to get home to Finsbury Park and I don't have any money on me for a taxi - I want police to come and pick me up and take me home."

• "I'm lost and I'm looking for a building that I can't find, can you tell me where it is?"

• "I sent back my headphones because they are faulty and the manufacturer said they haven't received them."

• "There was a bird in the store but its ok, someone has removed it now."

• "I have a dispute, I took my dog to be groomed and they shaved him instead of trimming him."

• "There is a cat following me down the road and it keeps hissing."

• "What time do the betting shops close in N18?"

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-38342859​

 

[Ian]

Every so often, the emergency services release a 999 call from a particularly silly call... and I can never quite believe that people are that dim.

Here's one that Greater Manchester Police posted a while back:

 

[Urmas]

Seriously though (yeah, not my forte, but here we go):

http://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/emergency_centres_victims_of_prank_calls/6460804

 

[Ian]

Perhaps we should have a "666" number people can call for trivial problems, rather than "999" . Ideally, one that connects you to a faraway call centre with a terrible script to read.

 

[Taffycat]

Here's one that Greater Manchester Police posted a while back:

Some of them are really jaw-dropping, aren't they?

Perhaps we should have a "666" number people can call for trivial problems,

Good thought! But not forgetting the 101 number, which is supposed to be for non-emergency matters. But then... I guess these people must really think their "hissing cat" incident, or the "dog grooming" mishap constitutes an emergency.

Makes me wonder what they would do in a true life-or-death situation... probably call "The Sun" or their local TV station I guess.

 

[Urmas]

Makes me wonder what they would do in a true life-or-death situation... probably call "The Sun" or their local TV station I guess.

WOTD: neo-helpless

 

[nivrip]

Reminds me of the list of excuses given to insurance companies regarding car crashes.


The top 10 best excuses for a car crash made funny by mangled English:

1. "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
2. "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
3. "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
4. "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
5. "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
6. "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."
7. "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
8. "The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."
9. "I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
10. "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

 

[Ian]

WOTD: neo-helpless

I like that word!

1. A (modern, young) person incapable of taking care of himself/herself because of excessive pampering.