Dear Tech Support... Vista is like a wife

J

john

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during
system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications
such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
longer
run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0
in
the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I
am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
work
on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program
files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the original
system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software
problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you assume
all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of
action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
excessive
use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command
before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
program,
but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
the
performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
under
any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to
the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support
 
D

Dustin Harper

Where can I get a new Wife 2.0? I'm in need of an upgrade! :) Don't like
that new OSeX model, it's a pain in the ass... And that FreeBSlutD was a
waste of time.
 
D

Dustin Harper

I'd like the Ultimate, cause maybe the Ultimate Extras would be worth it. If
they ever show up. Might have to turn off the DRM, cause I don't like her
spying (gotta have trust!), and the UAC has got to go, cause I don't like
the constant nagging.

Damn, Vista would make a terrible Woman!

--
Dustin Harper
(e-mail address removed)
http://www.vistarip.com

--
 
A

Adam Albright

I'd like the Ultimate, cause maybe the Ultimate Extras would be worth it. If
they ever show up. Might have to turn off the DRM, cause I don't like her
spying (gotta have trust!), and the UAC has got to go, cause I don't like
the constant nagging.

Damn, Vista would make a terrible Woman!

A little head strong. <wink>
 
D

Dustin Harper

I like the Media Center options, I like a little show every once in a while.
:blush:

Of course, if I forget to ask her dad if I can date her, she doesn't just
become a dumb mute in the Enterprise Edition!

--
Dustin Harper
(e-mail address removed)
http://www.vistarip.com
 
D

david ford

Lol

thanks all, best laugh vie had in a few months now,
After two previous wife editions, I've learned my lesson and reverted to
girlfriend 7.0.

But tech support are right, girlfriend 7.0 is not compatible with any wife
editions of the system, nor do you get a refund on money already spent.
 
A

Andre Da Costa[ActiveWin]

Well, weighing at 95% of the desktops around the world, what do you expect?
:p
 

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