Problems Installing Wife1.0.....

[Jim Macklin]

This can be a hardware problem. Sometimes the motherboard
connectors are non-standard and normal sized plugs do not
completely fit making poor connections. See any email
client for free advice on adjusting the size of all the
various connections.

You could need a firmware flash. Sometimes a bad BIOS (Boys
Idiot Operating Sex) causes unintended software to try to
run.


| To: Tech Support
|
| Dear Sir,
|
| Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 and noticed
| that the new program began creating problems within the
system processing
| and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
|
| Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system
| initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity.
|
| Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and
Saturday Football
| 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever
selected
|
| I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
running my other
| favorite applications. Whichever module or software I
enter, only Wife 1.0
| seems to run and nothing else.
|
| I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
uninstall from
| Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program.
Can you help me,
| please!!!
|
|
| Thanks,
| Rajeev
|
|
|
| ----------------------------------------------------------
----------------
|
| Reply
|
| To: Rajeev
|
|
| Dear Rajeev,
|
|
| This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0
software complain
| about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of
the software.
|
| Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea that Wife 1.0
| is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
|
| Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run
| everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife
1.0 and still
| convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
|
| Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to
| emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to
uninstall,
| delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed !!
|
| You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not designed to do
| this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but end up with
| more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under "Worries
| Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".
|
| I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
situation. Having Wife
| 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section
| regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).
|
| You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems
that might occur,
| regardless of their cause. The best course of action to
solve this major IT
| problem of yours will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
|
| In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
ultimately you will
| have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating
system will return
| to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for
| all the GPFs.
|
| Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
|
| Consider buying additional software to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0.
| I recommend you to install the latest gift software like
Flowers 2.1,
| Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
|
| note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Skirt 3.3.
| This is not a supported application; in fact it is a
deadly virus for Wife
| 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
|
|
| regards,
|
| Amit
|
|
|
|
|
|
| ----
| Hope you had fun and a minute OUT of digits world.
|
| "Try to get back to nature"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|

 

[Pat Garard]

I can see that you have NO IDEA of the real problem from your Subject -
"Problems Installing Wife 1.0........"!!

Wife 1.0 is clearly already installed, and has equally clearly taken over
the following features of Xp:
AutoRun (YOUR shortcuts work only for HER)
Permissions (You have none)
Rights (You have none)
Compression (Flat Wallet)
Memory Management (YOU know NOTHING! I remember when ...)
Resource allocation (All gone)
Priority scheduling (You don't have any)
Networking (You dont have any)
TCP/IP (Talk Control Protocol/Income Protocol)
Outlook (Gloomy)
Word (try getting one in edgeways)
Access (Minimal)
Powerpoint (Your only negotiable asset!)
Office (Try the Garage)
and
MORE........................................................................
.........

You MUST have known (Didn't your best friend tell you?) that Wife 1.0 is an
expensive, self-installing, multi-pipelined, parasitic, self-replicating,
resource and priority hungry Application that makes a WORM look like The
Arch Angel Gabriel!!

I strongly urge you to consider using Powerpoint's "Pack & Go" feature!

BEFORE ITS TOOOO LATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
I Wish I could HELP!

Pat Garard
(In Tears)
Australia

 

[Bareill]

http://www.rakkav.com/homeworlds/funnybones/pages/girlfriend7.htm

 

[Jim Macklin]

And MORE cont.
WORKS you to death
EXCEL is what you must do.
Don't bring home any viruses.


| I can see that you have NO IDEA of the real problem from
your Subject -
| "Problems Installing Wife 1.0........"!!
|
| Wife 1.0 is clearly already installed, and has equally
clearly taken over
| the following features of Xp:
| AutoRun (YOUR shortcuts work only for HER)
| Permissions (You have none)
| Rights (You have none)
| Compression (Flat Wallet)
| Memory Management (YOU know NOTHING! I remember when ...)
| Resource allocation (All gone)
| Priority scheduling (You don't have any)
| Networking (You dont have any)
| TCP/IP (Talk Control Protocol/Income Protocol)
| Outlook (Gloomy)
| Word (try getting one in edgeways)
| Access (Minimal)
| Powerpoint (Your only negotiable asset!)
| Office (Try the Garage)
| and
|
MORE........................................................
.................
| ........
|
| You MUST have known (Didn't your best friend tell you?)
that Wife 1.0 is an
| expensive, self-installing, multi-pipelined, parasitic,
self-replicating,
| resource and priority hungry Application that makes a WORM
look like The
| Arch Angel Gabriel!!
|
| I strongly urge you to consider using Powerpoint's "Pack &
Go" feature!
|
| BEFORE ITS TOOOO LATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| --
| I Wish I could HELP!
|
| Pat Garard
| (In Tears)
| Australia
|
| | > To: Tech Support
| >
| > Dear Sir,
| >
| > Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and noticed
| > that the new program began creating problems within the
system processing
| > and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during
| system
| > initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity.
| >
| > Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2
and Saturday
| Football
| > 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever
selected
| >
| > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
running my other
| > favorite applications. Whichever module or software I
enter, only Wife 1.0
| > seems to run and nothing else.
| >
| > I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall from
| > Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this
program. Can you help me,
| > please!!!
| >
| >
| > Thanks,
| > Rajeev
| >
| >
| >
|

----------------------------------------------------------

----------------
| >
| > Reply
| >
| > To: Rajeev
| >
| >
| > Dear Rajeev,
| >
| >
| > This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0
software complain
| > about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of
the software.
| >
| > Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
the idea that Wife
| 1.0
| > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run
| > everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
Wife 1.0 and still
| > convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
| >
| > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to
| > emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to uninstall,
| > delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed !!
| >
| > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not designed to
| do
| > this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but end up
| with
| > more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under
| "Worries
| > Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".
| >
| > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
situation. Having
| Wife
| > 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section
| > regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).
| >
| > You must assume all responsibility for faults and
problems that might
| occur,
| > regardless of their cause. The best course of action to
solve this major
| IT
| > problem of yours will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
| >
| > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
ultimately you
| will
| > have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating
system will return
| > to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for
| > all the GPFs.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
| >
| > Consider buying additional software to improve the
performance of Wife
| 1.0.
| > I recommend you to install the latest gift software like
Flowers 2.1,
| > Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
| >
| > note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Skirt 3.3.
| > This is not a supported application; in fact it is a
deadly virus for Wife
| > 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
| >
| >
| > regards,
| >
| > Amit
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| > ----
| > Hope you had fun and a minute OUT of digits world.
| >
| > "Try to get back to nature"
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
|
|

 

[Max]

HAHAHA!

You can try installing Divorce 1.0 -- but the licensing fees are expensive,
and you'll only get 50% of your resources back. If you still had Girlfriend
7.0 installed the same time as Wife 1.0, then you better get Lawyer 1.0 as
well. Hope this helps.

-M

 

[Silent Assassin]

Try using McAfee 8.0 . An all-in-wonder new brand anti-antivirus
program that suck porn and cocks during its updates
(Did you really know that?)

Then use the new installed viruses and overwrite wife1.0's
empty system files with the new .cum files!

..cum is a new file system , created by G-spot ver 2002 ,
and is used to lubricate your system flow and increase your computer's
performance.

(Warning: Once you have changed your file system from NTFS(No Tear For Suck)
to CUM(Cocks Under Microsoft), there is no way you return to the previous
system state. The only way is to overburn your wife 1.0's necessary
hotfixes and use or your re-enable your firewall to keep the wife Trojans
out
of home)

Hope this Help


----
Tear me , Tear you!




You can have wife. Or you can have pleasure. Don't ever count on
having both at once. -- RAHAHA1

--------------------------

 

[BriNan]

You guys think you have problems! I installed Husband 1.0 now my comp
won't even boot up.. All it does is sit there and fart :-(

 

[Pat Garard]

Ok! I'll pay that!

 

[Malvern]

ROFL (I won't add other items.). Does make my single life more appealing.

Malv

 

[.]

Well , I have sth for you buddy!(Why do you hate yours?)


Installing Husband ver1.0

------------------------------------

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower
and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I've tried running NAGGING
5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I
do?

Desperate



-----------------------------------------------------------------

<Reply>



Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME in the run menu and
install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and
Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Television 6.1. Television 6.1 is a very bad program
that will create Loud noises ( WAV files) and does not get deleted.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Cheerfulness 2.0.



Good Luck,

Tech Support

 

[Patty]

Now that was a refreshing change for a while......So very cute and
definately made me laugh....I know the feeling with husband 1.0!! I have
the same trouble. LOL

Thanks for the laugh and enjoy your day!

 

[a]

Good lock!!

Now that was a refreshing change for a while......So very cute and
definately made me laugh....I know the feeling with husband 1.0!! I have
the same trouble. LOL

Thanks for the laugh and enjoy your day!
" . . ." <..... .. ... . .. .... . .. . ............ . .. .. . . .> wrote in
message news:[email protected]... 7.0 designed

 

[Battleax]

that was funny when it first came out, like NINE YEARS AGO!!

 

[Jim Macklin]

But seven years ago most people had never heard of the web,
so it was new to most of us.


| that was funny when it first came out, like NINE YEARS
AGO!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| | > To: Tech Support
| >
| > Dear Sir,
| >
| > Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and noticed
| > that the new program began creating problems within the
system processing
| > and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during
| system
| > initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity.
| >
| > Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2
and Saturday
| Football
| > 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever
selected
| >
| > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
running my other
| > favorite applications. Whichever module or software I
enter, only Wife 1.0
| > seems to run and nothing else.
| >
| > I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall from
| > Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this
program. Can you help me,
| > please!!!
| >
| >
| > Thanks,
| > Rajeev
| >
| >
| >
|

----------------------------------------------------------

----------------
| >
| > Reply
| >
| > To: Rajeev
| >
| >
| > Dear Rajeev,
| >
| >
| > This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0
software complain
| > about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of
the software.
| >
| > Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
the idea that Wife
| 1.0
| > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run
| > everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
Wife 1.0 and still
| > convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
| >
| > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to
| > emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to uninstall,
| > delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed !!
| >
| > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not designed to
| do
| > this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but end up
| with
| > more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under
| "Worries
| > Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".
| >
| > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
situation. Having
| Wife
| > 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section
| > regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).
| >
| > You must assume all responsibility for faults and
problems that might
| occur,
| > regardless of their cause. The best course of action to
solve this major
| IT
| > problem of yours will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
| >
| > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
ultimately you
| will
| > have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating
system will return
| > to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for
| > all the GPFs.
| >
| > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
| >
| > Consider buying additional software to improve the
performance of Wife
| 1.0.
| > I recommend you to install the latest gift software like
Flowers 2.1,
| > Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
| >
| > note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Skirt 3.3.
| > This is not a supported application; in fact it is a
deadly virus for Wife
| > 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
| >
| >
| > regards,
| >
| > Amit
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| > ----
| > Hope you had fun and a minute OUT of digits world.
| >
| > "Try to get back to nature"
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
| >
|
|

 

[Bill]

To: Tech Support

Dear Sir,

Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began creating problems within the system processing
and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system
initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and Saturday Football
5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever selected

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other
favorite applications. Whichever module or software I enter, only Wife 1.0
seems to run and nothing else.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall from
Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program. Can you help me,
please!!!


Thanks,
Rajeev



--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reply

To: Rajeev


Dear Rajeev,


This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0 software complain
about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of the software.

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0
is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall,
delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed !!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Worries
Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife
1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action to solve this major IT
problem of yours will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return
to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.
I recommend you to install the latest gift software like Flowers 2.1,
Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Skirt 3.3.
This is not a supported application; in fact it is a deadly virus for Wife
1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


regards,

Amit