This is so funny!

[ChristopherP]

Hey guys, just got this email totally out of the blue. Its total bull (i hope) but take a read...

FROM THE OFFICE OF ENGR.STEPHEN OWEN

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF WORKS AND HOUSING,

FEDERAL SECRETARIAT OFFICE COMPLEX,

FALOMO, IKOYI - LAGOS.

Dear sir,

First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction,this is by virtue of it's nature as being utterly confidential and top secret as you were introduced to us in confidence through the Nigerian Chamber of Commerce, foreign trade division.

We are top officials from the Federal Ministry of Works and Housing,(FMWH),Federal Ministry of Finance and the Presidency, making up the Contract Review Panel (CRP) set up by the Federal Government of Nigeria to review contracts awarded by the past military administration.

In the course of our work on the CRP, we discovered this fund which resulted from grossly over-invoiced contracts which were executed for the FMW&H during the last administration. The companies that executed the contracts have been duly paid and the contracts commissioned leaving the sum of US$17.4 Million floating in the escrow account of the Central Bank of Nigeria ready for payment.

I have therefore been mandated as a matter of trust by my colleagues in the panel to look for an overseas partner to whom we could transfer the sum of US$17.4M legally subcontracting the entitlement to your company.This is bearing in mind that our civil service code of conduct forbids us from owning foreign company or running foreign account while in government service hence the need for an overseas partner.

We have agreed that the funds will be shared thus after it has been paid into your account:

(1) 30% of the money will go to you for acting as the beneficiary of the fund.

(2) 10% has been set aside as an abstract projection for reimbursment to both parties for incidental expences that may be incurred in the course of the transaction.

(3) 60% to us the government officials (with which we wish to commence an importation business inconjunction with you ).

All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for the smooth conclusion of the transaction within ten to fourteen days of commencement after receipt of the following information: Your company name, address, company's details,telephone & fax numbers.

These information will enable us make the applications and lodge claims to the concerned ministries & agencies in favour of your company and it is pertinent to state here that this transaction is entirely based on trust as the solar bank draft or certified cheque drawable in any of the Central Bank of Nigeria correspondent bankers around the world is going to be made in your name.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter using my e-mail address,stating your tel/fax number for further details.

Yours faithfully,

ENGR.STEPHEN OWEN

And the BEST bit of all? The guys email address is [[email protected]]
government email account my ass!

 

[Ian]

I get these e-mails a few times a week, each as crazy as the next! These Nigerian scammers make some serious money, as people ALWAYS fall for it!

 

[ChristopherP]

So there are people that are willing to launder money into the country "and recieve 30% for their troubles"?

who on earth thinks that an official government would want some random business in the UK to transfer money for them and pay them over $510,000 for doing so!?

crazy

 

[floppybootstomp]

Yep, I get quite a few of them as well. The last one was supposedly from the Ivory Coast and concerned a Chieftan's inheritance or something.

Probably a Croation in Peckham

 

[ChristopherP]

lol!

yeah - i had 4 people contact me about my computer, All wanting to scam me lol!

 

[shekhar_dhawan]

Hi! I am new at this site but since I saw the same thing that I got on my mailer, I thought of writing to you too!

I hate scammers & that is what i wrote to this gentleman and also asked for his genuinity to which I got an absolute different response that I am enclosing below. The message is bulky & did not care to read it but this gives a bottom line that these assholes never read a message but just paste in a message they are sending to the world whom they think they have netted! What a bullshit...

Can we do something about them?
----- Original Message -----
From: valentine igho
To: Shekhar Dhawan
Sent: Friday, June 25, 2004 6:21 PM
Subject: GOOD DAY2







ATTENTION: FRIEND/PARTNER

FROM: ENGR.STEPHEN OWEN


Thank you very much for your prompt and positive response to our letter of mutually benefiting business proposal. This is to let you know that I have indeed receive your previous mail but due to the fact that we have to deliberate on your matter hence the delay . In this light, you can reach me on my direct telephone line which is 234-803-3256-484.

The contracts review committee (C.R.P) with membership drawn from the Federal Ministry Of Works& Housing (FMW&H), the Federal Ministry Of Finance (F.M.F) and the presidency, having deliberated extensively on your response, have unanimously agreed to commence the transaction with you. It is pertinent at this stage to assure you that the project will be carried out strictly and religiously within all laid down procedures and the transfer will pass also through all local and international transfer laws and
regulations.

Furthermore, we shall furnish you with the contractors registration form by Monday of which will be dully filled by you and sent back to me immediately. This will enable us register your company as a category 'A' contractor with my Ministry[FMW&H] legally,. We shall ensure that all other equity requirements for the operation of a foreign company in Nigeria as spelt out by the Security and Exchange Commission (S.E.C.) are met. Immediately these pre-application requirements are met, we shall commence the registration of the application for payment of the entitlement under a legal deed of sub-contract. Thereafter, the C.R.P will validate the claim and the application proper will be made to the F.M.W&H for the approval of the sub-contract of the entitlement to your company. All these are directly under my supervision. Immediately the approval is given by the FMW&H, your company becomes a legal creditor/beneficiary to the FMW&H to the tune of the contract amount (US$17.4m) at this point, your payment file shall be moved to the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) for the foreign exchange approval to be issued by the exchange control division of the FMF.This is necessary since the payment is not in our local currency (Naira) but in a foreign currency (US dollars). From the exchange control division, the payment file is moved to the International Remittance Office (IRO) of the FMF for final payment processing.This is the endorsement (signing) of the fund release document i.e: (i)The foreign payment order (ii)International Payment Receipt (iii) International Payment Voucher. At this point, you are expected to come personally to Lagos to endorse the document, witness the telegraphic transfer of the funds to your account and reconfirm your account particulars or collect your solar bank draft/certified cheque, as the case may be. If for reasons of tight business schedule, you cannot come to Lagos, you have a choice to make an application directly to the FMF for payment to be effected into your account or apply to any of the offshore Debt Reconciliation Committee (DRC) office in Europe. Moreso, you can as well apply for an attorney that is registered with the FMF to act on your behalf and endorse all your final funds release documents and payment shall be effected to your nominated account immediately. For any option chosen, the funds will hit your account by swift telegraphic transfer between 48-72 hours or you can receive a solar bank draft drawable in any correspondent bank worldwide or make application for cash payment in Lagos or any of the DRC offices. The above is the breakdown of our master plan for success, 100 % risk, hitch-free and everything will be done legally and perfectly. Note that to save our common interests, a legally binding agreement will be entered into between us showing that the funds moving to your account are contractual sums and also, a vetting approval will be issued by the office of the attorney general of the Federation vetting the funds against drug or laundering sources. With your unwavering assistance and co-operation and following our instructions religiously, this transaction will be concluded within 10-14 working days. On your receipt of the funds, my associates and I will fly to your country to meet with you for the sharing purpose and to commence our business plans. As we cannot bring back cash to Nigeria, we will count on your business acumen and network for our investment plans. The benefits are enormous, so also are the responsibilities. Hence our setting aside as an abstract projection, 10% of the total sum to take care of all mutual expenses towards the attainment of our common goal. Therefore, we urge you to keep an inventory of all your expenses including phone bills just as we keep ours, for re-imbursement on receipt of the funds by you in your account or by draft and any balance of the 10% split equally on both sides. Once again, I thank you for your prompt positive response and remember that confidentiality is our watchword as the advantages accruable to us from strict compliance can never be over-emphasized.

 

[psd99]

lol can one really be asked to read past the first line?

what a load of MEIER bullshit!!!! You know it!

 

[ChristopherP]

LOL Just got a new one...

reads as follows.

FIRSTRAND BANK LTD
SOUTH AFRICA
17TH FLOOR,1 MERCHANT PLACE,CORNER
FREEDOM DRIVE AND RIVONIA ROAD,SANTON 2196
P.O.BOX,786273,SANTON,2146
hello,

In my anticipation of a strong and solid Co-operation from your side in this business proposal which i have contacted you as a secret information from my bank here in africa for which i requires your assistance to help me transfer some funds abroad with the information i will be giving to you in the course of this transaction.and for which i strongly believe that you will not disappoint me now or in future.
I am Rotarian COLLUMBUS WALTER the Auditor General of a Bank here in Africa.in the course of a general audit conducted by bank i came to find out that There Is an Account opened in this bank in 1985 and since 1993 no body has Operated on this account again.
After going through some old files in the records I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently it would be fortified for nothing.
The owner of this account is Dr.Phillip Morris , a Foreigner and a miner at delth Gold Co, a geologist by Profession. He died since 1993. And no other person knows about this account or anything concerning it. The account has no other beneficiary and my Investigation Proved to me as well that his company does not know anything about his Account and the amount involved is USD
36m)
Thirty Six Million United States Dollars.
I am only contacting you as a foreigner because the bank is going to welcome you as a foreigner and for the fact you have the correct information about the account, which I will give to you before we proceed. I strongly believe in God that you will never let me down in this business because you are the only person i have contacted in this business. I need you?re full co-operation to make this work fine.If you are Capable to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to My instructions and advice we will achieve this money immediately, because this opportunity might not Come again in life. I will also use my Position in the bank to Influence and affect legal approvals and immediate onward transfer of this Money into your account with appropriate clearance from the ministries and Foreign Exchange department. Once we conclude this transfer, you will get 25% of the total amount as your own share. As soon as I receive your response, we will proceed with the transfer.
I look forward to your earliest reply through this email and my private email box is.. (e-mail address removed)

Yours sincerely,

Mr. COLLUMBUS WALTER MBA

ah well. Outlook picked it up as junkmail anyway. What i find ammusing is that these people claim to be like official government agents etc etc but they have like Yahoo email addresses!!

 

[gabriella]

Dear Chris

The obviuosly all think u r loaded...must be all the millionaires in your part of the world!!!!

Hahahaha!!

Gabriella xx

 

[Quadophile]

The first time I came across this kind of communication was back in 1995, a friend of mine came to me with this typed letter very similar to the ones above. Since it was the first time I read the whole thing and when I reached the end my decision was firm "NO" I told him this sounds like a scam and he should stay away from it. A couple of years after that I came across an official ad in the newspaper from the Nigerian Embassy stating that people should be careful about getting doped by folks like these who send such letters.

Since the internet became more common for such communications (basically due to email) I come across these type of letters almost every week. It does not take me long to know what the contents would be, therefore, I simply delete them on a regular basis. Besides, two other type of mail which everyone these days gets whether they like it or not - porn and medicines.

By the way, I noticed folks here have started to use a lot of swear words these days, it does not give a very good impression to newcomers for sure. It would be greatly appreciated if messages are toned down a bit, I hope this will be taken in a positive way!

 

[ChristopherP]

Big Brother House this is Davina. You are now live on Channel4 so please don't say ....
Sure thing quaddy ol pal

 

[muckshifter]

By the way, I noticed folks here have started to use a lot of swear words these days, it does not give a very good impression to newcomers for sure. It would be greatly appreciated if messages are toned down a bit, I hope this will be taken in a positive way!

You will not get a "warning" from me ... I'll just ban you

Please note ... this is a family site, I won't swear in your house, don't swear in mine.

 

[floppybootstomp]

OK, my stance on cussin' for what it's worth.

It doesn't bother me at all.

However, this is a family site and one where I would hope all feel comfortable. Therefore I would disaprove of swearing just for the sake of it. There are a thousand script kiddie forums out there where you can cuss to your heart's content, if that's how you get your jollies, go there.

If a cuss word or two slips in ocassionally, and it's in context, I, for one, would probably let it past. But really, there's no need, constant cussin' just sounds cheap and the words lose their impact anyway. And to me, it really does display a certain ignorance.

In everday life, in company I'm comfortable with, I cuss. Call it a weakness, but I do. In new company I don't swear at all, it ain't polite. If they swear, then I take that as a green light to allow me to.

So, there ya go, no Donald Ducking, OK?

 

[james]

Huh?

Quack...Quack...Quack

 

[ChristopherP]

I'm a good boy. I never swear