*Small* Contraction Counter

[Tramp]

"The Contraction Counter will aid expecting mothers with keeping track of
contractions. Not only will it count the time they are set apart, but it
will also make a printout that can be taken to a doctor or hospital."
http://www.simtel.net/pub/pd/13015.html

 

[your name]

"The Contraction Counter will aid expecting mothers with keeping track of
contractions. Not only will it count the time they are set apart, but it
will also make a printout that can be taken to a doctor or hospital."
http://www.simtel.net/pub/pd/13015.html

No, Honey, wait till Microsoft Windows XP, the operating system of
choice for many proffesionals, Starts up on my Pentium, the most
popular CPU in the World, computer with Multimedia Extensions. Just a
second.

 

[IT-MAN]

Induced Labor???

and of course any woman, when having contractions, the first thing you
really need to think of is to switch on your computer and launch the
program!

 

[Blinky the Shark]

No, Honey, wait till Microsoft Windows XP, the operating system of
choice for many proffesionals, Starts up on my Pentium, the most
popular CPU in the World, computer with Multimedia Extensions. Just a
second.

"Windows has determined that something's screwed up, again. Please make
start some coffee, or maybe order a pizza, while Scan Disk grinds
through your whole hard drive......"

 

[your name]

Induced Labor???

Scene: Space Truckers. Evil Genius prepares to torture unwitting yet
experienced Heroine.
Evil Genius: And now my dear [whhiissshh whhoosshh] feel the force
within. It is time to bear my child. Bwaaa Ha Ha Ha Haaaaa.