I'm also distressed Bill, at how MVP's are so quick to rally around each
other under all most any circumstance, even when an MVP is wrong or when
someone points out any criticism of them.
Bill is not an MVP. And you seem to be alone in your opinion that Juan is
wrong and you are right. That ought to make you suspicious of your own
opinion.
In fact, regardless of whether or not Juan is wrong, the point that is being
made is that your attitude towards Juan is wrong. These are 2 separate
issues, and they are not exclusive of one another.
When one feels wronged, there are several alternative paths one can take. In
the case of being given wrong information, as you seem to feel you were
given by Juan, you may choose to ignore the information. In fact, in the
process of problem-solving, this is the logical thing to do. If information
comes to light that is irrelvant to the solution of a problem, it is a waste
of time to give it any consideration, or to point out the wrongness of it to
the one who offers it. Doing so does not lead to a solution of the problem.
As the person with the problem to solve, it is your responsibility to solve
your problem. It is not productive to argue with those who give you
information that does not lead to a solution of the problem.
From my observations, there was some mis-communication going on between you
and Juan regarding the issue. This is a common occurrance, as the only means
of communication on a public newsgroup is to post a message and wait for a
response. One does not have the convenience of being able to ask a spate of
questions back and forth in order to clarify terms, etc. I am fairly certain
that at some point both you and Juan misunderstood each other's
communications. As an impartial observer, it seems that you were both
sidetracked by a debate over these miscommunications. In any case, the
debate was not useful to the solution of your problem.
As a conjecture, it seems that both you and Juan are somewhat argumentative,
and the chemistry worked out badly. This is not a criticism of either of
you. I have been known (including by myself) to be somewhat argumentative as
well, and this is a common trait in people who enjoy participating in
discussions. It is sometimes useful, but must be constrained, or it can
easily lead to hurt feelings and relationship issues.
It is a fact that Juan was trying to help you out. That is an act of
kindness. He does, in fact, do quite a bit of work in his efforts to help
others, and this seems (at least to me) to afford him a good bit of slack
regarding whatever personality flaws he posesses (as do we all). In fact, as
we all do indeed posess personality flaws, it behooves us all to cut one
another a certain amount of slack.
One cannot correct the mistakes and personality flaws of others. Personality
flaws lead to decisions, and the only person who can make a correction
regarding one's decisions is one's self, by making future decisions
differently, or at least making a conscious effort to do so. Once made, a
decision cannot be unmade. It is in the past, which is inalterable.
In the context of solving a problem, it is even more useless to be
sidetracked by an observation of a poor decision on the part of another
person, as I have already explained. It is, however, appropriate to take
inventory of one's own decisions in the aftermath, and see if it is possible
to make some changes with regards to future similar situations, in the
effort to avoid possible similar such occurrences in the future.
In conclusion, how about cutting Juan some slack, cutting Bill some slack,
cutting MVPs some slack, and taking an inventory of your own decisions in
this situation, to see what you may do to prevent such a situation from
bogging you down in the future? Or, at least, how about putting all this out
of your mind so that you can relax?
--
HTH,
Kevin Spencer
Microsoft MVP
..Net Developer
Ambiguity has a certain quality to it.
