PC Review Neophyte

[LimitedAccess]

Greetings and salutations! I'm new to "PCreview" so be gentle. In fact, I'm not much of a tech-head (my background is in the humanities), but I greatly admire those fortunate individuals who can navigate the electronic frontier with ease and confidence. I should clarify that, while I'm a professed tech neophyte, I am not new to the online community scene. I met my wife online (LambdaMOO) while trying to whittle away the hours at work -- we celebrated our eight-year wedding anniversary last week!

I hope I can begin our relationship by imposing on you? Can someone direct me to where I can find an answer to my MS Access conundrum? (The problem I'm having is of an elementary nature... But since I have already confessed my limited -- but always growing! -- computing skills, I am as unashamed of my naked ignorance as an infant is of its... uh,naked nakedness. Shrug.

Thanks in advance!

P.S. I love how people list their computer's configuration as a way of introducing themselves! I've truly ventured into uncharted territory. But you've inspired me to do likewise but in a milieu more familiar to myself. How's this:

Input devices: books, TV, radio

Storage Capacity: benchmarks have yet to be determined -- due to unlimited hardware expansion capacity and elastic nature of elastics (Bless the person who invented the elastic waistband!)

Processor: 1967 cerebral cortex with parallel neuron pathways (food and books)

Memory: RAM problems as a result of overclocking (i.e., insomnia)

 

[Me__2001]

what is the actual problem ? have you tried the microsoft online help ?

 

[Ian]

Welcome LimitedAccess! haha, I like your computer specs!

No matter how much you know about computers so far, I'm sure you'll learn plenty of interesting things here

If you stick your MS Access question in the software forum and I'm sure someone may be able to help

 

[LimitedAccess]

Ian and Me_2001,

I've taken your suggestion and have posted my question under the microsoft help forum. Thanks for responding so quickly!

 

[Becky]

Hi LimitedAccess, nice to meet you I hope you like it here!

We're not all tech-heads here, there's a wide variety of people around... I'm more of an 'artsy' person myself

 

[LimitedAccess]

Wow! I've been a member of PCReview for no more than a couple of hours and already I'm feeling the love of my fellow citizens. If this keeps up, by the end of the day someone will be trying to adopt me!

 

[Becky]

We're a lovely bunch

 

[gabriella]

Hi Limitedaccess

Welcome, like Bex says were really nice people. All are welcome irrespective of knowledge base etc... etc.....

Gabriella x

 

[LimitedAccess]

The Closet

I like it here. I created this thread, why should I want to leave? I know I know... I should venture out and meet more people. But I can't help but notice we're talking about me! Me! To quote a wise man: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me" -- Stuart Smalley

When I was a member of LambdaMoo, upon first "jacking in" to our virtual world you were deposited in "The Closet," from there you could transport into a myriad of designed "rooms" that fit your mood at the time. I never left the Closet. (Spare me your jokes. I've heard them all.) I felt safe there, wrapped up in my bits and bytes, ones and zeroes, I felt that I could reach out and touch my fellow denizens of LambdaMoo with virtual impunity, address someone, as I'm doing now, who was not only disconnected from me by virtual distance, but also by the physical world. And you know what? It worked out just fine. (As I stated earlier, I met my wife there -- she had no problem with me being a "Closet" closet junky.)

Why are any of us here? I've often wondered about why people such as ourselves feel the need or desire to socialize with others through the use of a computer. The closest I came to an answer was in regards to why we bother to read:

"We read not only because we cannot know enough people, but because friendship is so vulnerable, so likely to disappear or diminish, overcome by space, time, imperfect sympathies, and all the sorrows of familial life." -- Harold Blooom

So, welcome to my closet! I'll be performing M-F, 9am-5pm. Don't forget to tip your Webmaster.

 

[Avalanche]

....... Don't forget to tip your Webmaster.

No less than 20% tipping is karma at it's best.

Welcome. You will enjoy it.

Av

 

[psd99]

welcome LimitedAccess


hope you enjoy your stay!

lets hope u have a nice time
psd99

 

[Alf]

Welcome!

 

[Quadophile]

Welcome to our tiny part of cyberspace

 

[crazylegs]

Hello Limited Access


Your quite welcome to Access all areas anytime....

 

[Cache-man]

Welcome, LimitedAccess to PC-Review.
I'm glad your enjoying yourself so far, and truly hope you continue to do so!
Also, I like your introduction at the start of this thread - clever...and witty!

 

[Spooky Mouse]

Hiya there Limited... Nice to meet you...

Hope you got your MS Access Problem Sorted..

 

[LimitedAccess]

MS Access Problem

Cache-man and Spooky Mouse,

Thanks for the welcome. And Spooky Mouse, thanks for inquiring about my computer problem. As to whether I have found a solution to my problem, the answer is no. So if I may be so bold as to break with PCR etiquette, I will post my problem here.

Problem: I'm trying to create reports in MS Access that will automatically address the recipient by their gender (Mr. or Ms.) and then their last name (e.g., Dear Mr. Lastname). I'm trying to do this within a "text box" but I cannot come up with the correct expression. All I can come up with is =([Sex] & " " & [Last])

Any help would be greatly appreciated!


Thanks!

P.S. Stay tuned to read about my exciting weekend! (I like to believe even the most mundane events can be of interest -- at least my mother always shows great interest and enthusiasm in what I do!) Here's a snippet of some of what you'll have a chance to read later: "Damn it! F***ing air conditioner! Who's the boss here?" And if that hasn't wetted your appetite, try this: "Damn it! F***ing vacum cleaner! Who's the boss here?" I know... I'm already excited about sharing more of my domicile stories with all of you! You'll just have to be patient.

 

[Raje]

Welcome aboard, I look forward to seeing some more of your comments. Zainey- yet entertaining. As far as to why I choose to communicate through the computer.... I'm at work 12 hours a day, I'm not allowed any incomming communication, and no cell phones, beepers. Also limited internet(which I managed to find SEVERAL loop holes )

Any way have fun, and as far as that access problem -- I beleive you will have to make a profile for each individal person, and then create a link to that information. Let clear the dust out of that section of my mind, and I'll get back to you.

 

[ChristopherP]

Zainey

Thats Bostonians for ya

Just got back from Boston, MA, two days ago... Quite a cool place i must say, and their inhabitants talk with the funniest accents!!

 

[LimitedAccess]

"The common faults of American language are ambition of effect, a want of simplicity, and a turgid abuse of terms." -- James Fenimore Cooper

I hasten to quickly make known my profound belief in the fecundity of language to remonstrate those who would put a "yolk" around the neck of ones ability articulate themselves in a manner befitting an American's ability to bite of more than they can masticate.
************************************************************************
As Wittegenstein suggested, there are no philosophical problems, only puzzles as a result of our language ambiguity. That fact is never more apparent than here in Bean Town. What is it that they say about America and Great Britain: two countries separated by a common language. (And, for the record, I'm not a true Bostonian: I was born in Ohio; I clearly pronounce my R's; I never use the word "wicked" as an intensifier; and I never pahk my cah and walk through Hahvid Yahd! I affectionately refer to my fellow citizens as "Massholes.")

While it's true that Boston is a lovely city; it's also readily apparent, if you spend any time in the city, that Boston is even lovelier if you have a obscene amount of money! I mean, a one-cent piece of candy is $2; public drinking fountains require ATM cards -- and you have to provide your own water!; and public transportation means you get to watch the wealthy drive by in their BMW's and Jaguars.