G
Gary Richtmeyer
Hope nobody takes offense at humor being posted on this NG, but as a PC geek
I enjoyed this and figured other PC geeks could also use a laugh amidst all
the problems, viruses, BSODs, etc, etc, etc. Enjoy!
-- Gary Richtmeyer
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Modern version of Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First"?
ABBOTT: Thanks for calling the Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Hello, I'm setting up an office in my den
and thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!
OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I
want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The word in office for windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The word you get when you click the blue "w."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't
start with some straight answers! OK, forget that.
Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie and I also want to see
reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them too?
ABBOTT: of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "one."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "w"?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue "w" is
Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for
windows!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word
in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping, do you have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOTT: One copy
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not, they own it.
I enjoyed this and figured other PC geeks could also use a laugh amidst all
the problems, viruses, BSODs, etc, etc, etc. Enjoy!
-- Gary Richtmeyer
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Modern version of Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First"?
ABBOTT: Thanks for calling the Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Hello, I'm setting up an office in my den
and thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!
OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I
want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The word in office for windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The word you get when you click the blue "w."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't
start with some straight answers! OK, forget that.
Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie and I also want to see
reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them too?
ABBOTT: of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "one."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "w"?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue "w" is
Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for
windows!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word
in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping, do you have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOTT: One copy
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not, they own it.