# Old age?

#### itsme

A couple in their seventies are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the
doctor
tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember...
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..' he says.

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it..'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down' she tells him.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries
and
whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sakes!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..

She stares at the plate for a moment turns to her husband and says 'You should have written it down, Where's my [FONT=arial, sans-serif]toast ?'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly..'

The other man said, 'What's the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose,
what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at
his feet, who insisted he
didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.On the way down

I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'

'Really,' says the neighbor 'What kind is it?'

The man replies 'Twelve thirty...'

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc:......'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that, I said ..............'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto

a stool... After a quite a while he catches his breath and orders a double banana split with cherries and whipping cream.

The waitress asks, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

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Oh bugger i see me in some of those, especialy the memory ones What did you say, pardon

Itsme they were great thankyou. Both my wife and me are into our 70s and I don`t encounter,so far,any of the above faults-- not that I can remember that is.
historian

Good ones Itsme... now why have I just put the teapot in the fridge..?

I can see you are on the roll there, I loved them! Couple of them sounded familiar and I am pretty sure I have read them on this very forum on a very long thread, dunno who did that.

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some, like me, just don't have any film.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

"I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine."

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'