my wife is cheating on me

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I have Win XP. How do I view the data file? Thanks. In re to ethics, I
will post a reply and maybe more people will see it my way.
 
I am an engineer caught up in my job and have not balanced work and life well
enough. That said, back in July she had someone asking around if she was
married or not. Being married didn't stop him from stalking her until it
came close to me calling the head of Human Resources at their work to have
him stop. She did not like his advances. Both of them rotated jobs and
found themselves working together a few months later. She was organizing
Xmas gifts for people at work and I asked about one of them. She said it was
for him and I asked what changed. She said she was wrong about him and he
was quite pleasant. Last week I wondered my the cell phone bill was high and
went on line and found they had many long phone conversations. I ignored it
hoping it was nothing and would casually talk to her about it sometime. I
went through her wallet looking for a missing credit card last week and found
his business card with his home address hand written on the back. I went
through her planner and found a hand written map to his house. I went
through her dressor and found contraceptives with most gone. I've been fixed
for years. I have confronted her about all this and she says there is
nothing between them. I love my wife and even if she had an affair I would
keep her knowing how easily this sort of thing could happen. She has lost 75
Lbs over the past year and is quite beautiful. I get offers at work from
guys looking at her photos on my desk. She needs to earn my trust back, but
I don't think she's coming clean. I need to know more about what went on and
what continues to go on. They continue to work together. Thanks for
understanding.
 
I was DougC two years ago. Take it easy on him, it isn't any fun, believe
me.. Give him the advice he asks for, and disregard the reason for his
inquiry. If you have not walked a mile in those shoes you honestly cannot
understand.... TMI? probably for this group, but cut him some slack :-)
 
Sad to hear that, man. If it carries on, you may have to uninstall her and
reinstall a newer version

Jon
 
If you're using Outlook, you can open up another or even import the emails
from the File|Open>Outlook Data File... (version 2003). I think it my be
similar in version 2002 (XP). Can't remember off the top of my head how to
do so in Outlook 2000 but, I assure it can be done, even in 97. If your
using Outlook Express it's in the File|Import>|Messages... menu. As for the
data files usually the case if your using WinXP (even 2000), unless
ohtherwise configured by the user;

Outlook Data File Location:
C:\Documents and Settings\YOURNAME\\Local Settings\Application
Data\Microsoft\Outlook\

Outlook Express Data File Location:
C:\Documents and Settings\YOURNAME\Local Settings\Application
Data\{FE11B425-E877-5A69-C54B-013FDFD32E09}\Microsoft\Outlook Express\

Where the {....} is different for every one so I made it up.

The file for Outlook Express is typically Inbox.dbx but, if specific folders
have been created it could be like, "Harry.dbx", "Work Emails.dbx", "Golf
Club.dbx". Sent emails would typically be in "Sent Items.dbx"

Outlook usally has it all in one big file and will have the extension *.pst.

- Winux P


:I have Win XP. How do I view the data file? Thanks. In re to ethics, I
: will post a reply and maybe more people will see it my way.
: --
: Doug
:
:
: "Winux P" wrote:
:
: >
: > : > : How can I see what e-mail she has sent, or is there a log for seeing
what
: > has
: > : been sent to who? Thanks in advance
: > : --
: > : Doug
: >
: > Not unless the emails are kept, and if she's clever enough to compact
the
: > email data file after deleting emails... More difficult, assuming your
using
: > Outlook or Outlook Express.
: >
: > DougC, it is indeed stifling when a relationship reaches a point when
one in
: > it no longer wants to be involved, leaving the other in complete shock.
It
: > makes one realise that in this world nothing belongs to us. Confusion
will
: > turn to anger and depression, then behold, convalescence and the new
person
: > emerges. Why have a book DougC, when there are libraries, anyway that's
the
: > future for you.
: >
: > Are you an Administrator on the system? You should be able to reach in
and
: > grab yourself a copy of the her email data file and check it out. Even
: > easier if you share it.
: >
: > - Winux P
: >
: >
: >
 
Confucius say, "Man who loses key to wife's heart get no new-key!"
Click to expand...
Old Confucius came up with some pretty good ones. I remember the
one...Confucius say, "Thai man who walk through airport turnstile
sideways going to Bangkok."
 
"Cheated" - That's her right. It is legal (if it happened). It is also no business of his.
 
David said:
"Cheated" - That's her right. It is legal (if it happened). It is
also no business of his.
Click to expand...

Actually, it is legally grounds for divorce and therefore is very much his
business just for that .. but it is his business also for a variety of
reasons including health ones.
 
Michael said:
In


So do I, and why I said Lanwence addressed it best. TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
This is a peer support newsgroup not a place to pass judgment, I didn't
reply to the OP, I replied to you, with a 8-). Some people answer the
questions without passing judgment. Some don't answer if they don't want to
judge. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and you are very much
entitled to yours.
Click to expand...

So that's what TMI means. It was killing me not knowing!
 
Well it's not where I live. There is only one ground for divorce - one person doesn't want to be married. It would not even be admitted in an Australian court as being totally irrelevent (and illegal to consider it). Doesn't affect property distribution or anything else.
 
Using comcast.net could mean that she may read her emails off the ISP's
Webmail page. You'd need to know her login details to get access to them
assuming she's not deleting the relevant emails. Or she may have left the
settings in Internet Explorer to remember my username and password left as
yes, true or ticked, what ever it is.

If her email account is configured to retrieve emails of the ISP's mail
servers onto your/her computer then it will be transferred to the PC. You
can search for *.pst, *.dbx files and look in them. If there empty she's
either very prim and proper or the emails are read of comcast's mail
servers. Try to get her user name and password and, try not to get done for
identity theft amongst all else to come.

Just remember, unless you die, tomorrow will come.

- Winux P


: she uses comcast.net for our email. Could I do a search using *.pst?
: --
: Doug
:
:
: "Winux P" wrote:
:
: >
: > If you're using Outlook, you can open up another or even import the
emails
: > from the File|Open>Outlook Data File... (version 2003). I think it my be
: > similar in version 2002 (XP). Can't remember off the top of my head how
to
: > do so in Outlook 2000 but, I assure it can be done, even in 97. If your
: > using Outlook Express it's in the File|Import>|Messages... menu. As for
the
: > data files usually the case if your using WinXP (even 2000), unless
: > ohtherwise configured by the user;
: >
: > Outlook Data File Location:
: > C:\Documents and Settings\YOURNAME\\Local Settings\Application
: > Data\Microsoft\Outlook\
: >
: > Outlook Express Data File Location:
: > C:\Documents and Settings\YOURNAME\Local Settings\Application
: > Data\{FE11B425-E877-5A69-C54B-013FDFD32E09}\Microsoft\Outlook Express\
: >
: > Where the {....} is different for every one so I made it up.
: >
: > The file for Outlook Express is typically Inbox.dbx but, if specific
folders
: > have been created it could be like, "Harry.dbx", "Work Emails.dbx",
"Golf
: > Club.dbx". Sent emails would typically be in "Sent Items.dbx"
: >
: > Outlook usally has it all in one big file and will have the extension
*.pst.
: >
: > - Winux P
: >
: >
: > : > :I have Win XP. How do I view the data file? Thanks. In re to
ethics, I
: > : will post a reply and maybe more people will see it my way.
: > : --
: > : Doug
: > :
: > :
: > : "Winux P" wrote:
: > :
: > : >
: > : > : > : > : How can I see what e-mail she has sent, or is there a log for
seeing
: > what
: > : > has
: > : > : been sent to who? Thanks in advance
: > : > : --
: > : > : Doug
: > : >
: > : > Not unless the emails are kept, and if she's clever enough to
compact
: > the
: > : > email data file after deleting emails... More difficult, assuming
your
: > using
: > : > Outlook or Outlook Express.
: > : >
: > : > DougC, it is indeed stifling when a relationship reaches a point
when
: > one in
: > : > it no longer wants to be involved, leaving the other in complete
shock.
: > It
: > : > makes one realise that in this world nothing belongs to us.
Confusion
: > will
: > : > turn to anger and depression, then behold, convalescence and the new
: > person
: > : > emerges. Why have a book DougC, when there are libraries, anyway
that's
: > the
: > : > future for you.
: > : >
: > : > Are you an Administrator on the system? You should be able to reach
in
: > and
: > : > grab yourself a copy of the her email data file and check it out.
Even
: > : > easier if you share it.
: > : >
: > : > - Winux P
: > : >
: > : >
: > : >
: >
: >
: >
 
Yes that's right as all divorces here are considered no fault. Marriage is
such a retro-institutional-tradition, even in this ultra-conservative era
we're in. And love... Well that's just nature's trick to get one (two I
mean) to reproduce. It's only a chemical in the brain that lasts no more
than 5 years anyway, no wonder divorces here are considered no fault.

Ahhh cynicism! Who did say it's the closest a fool can come to the truth????

- Winux P

"David Candy" <.> wrote in message
Well it's not where I live. There is only one ground for divorce - one
person doesn't want to be married. It would not even be admitted in an
Australian court as being totally irrelevent (and illegal to consider it).
Doesn't affect property distribution or anything else.
 
Off topic here, but..............

I assume that's Australia

To be clear, there are no grounds for divorce, just a 4 step process to be
completed.

In Australia, if you apply for a divorce you will need to show that:

- you were married
- you have been separated for at least 12 months and 1 day
- your marriage has broken down and there is no reasonable likelihood that
you will get back together
- you or your husband or wife are Australian residents or citizens or regard
Australia as your permanent home

http://www.familycourt.gov.au/prese...ore/separation/step_before_separation_divorce

That's it. As you have said, no fault needs to be shown or assigned.
 
This may be TMI to some of you; I warn you now. And this has nothing to do
with a computer problem. This is a follow up to my Jan 4 post asking how to
get into her email. To those who support and criticize me, thank you for
your comments. I told my wife there was no “us†unless I heard all the
details. We had it out last night. She confessed she had sex with this guy
twice. Both times she told me she was meeting with friends from work. She
said the sex was terrible, short, awkward and humiliating. I feel better
knowing this and that he had the decency to use a condom and not do oral sex.
She admitted it was all her idea and the cell phone records show she was the
one doing the chasing. I know I do not have the strength to say “no†to a
women as good looking as she is. So I do forgive him. Under different
circumstances he would not fair as well. She said she was desperate to find
someone to talk to and I admit I have not had the patience to be a good
listener. Kids, dog, house, job as a leader making tons of cash, I don’t
have the time to be what she wants me to be. Some of you said it was my
fault; you are right. I have not been a good husband. I drove her to find
someone else. She is at fault also. She has not done a good job of
insisting on my attention. She is the one that stepped over the boundary.
She could have only talked with him. This guy is well versed and a good
listener. She broke it off with him, but did not tell him I knew. This past
week has been a calamity; I have my first million but almost lost the love of
my life. Thank god for cell phone records. She said she expected me to
notice sooner or later, I would not have had she not talked to him for hours.
I now need to build my trust in her so we can salvage this marriage for our
kid’s sake and ours. I love her very much and forgive her in light of my
poor behavior. She meets all my needs and more. She says she loves me very
much also, but our interaction has to change for our marriage to continue.
I understand that, and am able to do that. She doesn’t want to go to a
marriage consular and would divorce me if she knew I was putting all this on
the web. We get a blood test in the morning to ensure we didn’t catch
anything. Now, I need a way to build trust between us and though I’ve said
I’ll change my ways, I still fear she will cheat. With her looks, there will
be other guys chasing her. Someone called her the other day about a knitting
class and she had to turn it down because it was in the town this guys lives.
She wanted to take my daughter to it, but knows I would always wonder what
else is going on. I hope this is a lesson for all of you. I don’t have
access to house phone records or her e-mail but I feel that is the only way
to monitor her and build trust between us. All suggestions and criticism
welcome.
 
MS wont let me reply with the latest. I've tryied posting it twice just to
have it disapear a minute later. Anyway, how do I monitor my wife's email in
the future?
 
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