Joke.

[itsme]

Open Joke thread.

While working on a building site, Paddy hits his thumb with a hammer, Ouch my tum he yells, a Cockney standing there says its not your tum you idiot, its your fum

 

[floppybootstomp]

joke?

wha?

 

[itsme]

 

[ChristopherP]

A cowboy walks into a German Car showroom... Audi

 

[floppybootstomp]

Ohmigawd, I gettit now (first post) I was somewhat inebriated on first viewing and seriously didn't understand it - doh

Chris, will you stop that, me be laughing, that my kind of funnee

 

[itsme]

Ohmigawd, I gettit now (first post) I was somewhat inebriated on first viewing and seriously didn't understand it - doh

Chris, will you stop that, me be laughing, that my kind of funnee

Vats awight FBS! fums up

 

[ChristopherP]

Well i would have told you the one about the small wooden step at the side of the field but it's not my style...

 

[Ian]

Well i would have told you the one about the small wooden step at the side of the field but it's not my style...

That's a good one

 

[ChristopherP]

Well i saw this guy and a girl in Tesco's the other day... they were wrapped up in a barcode!!!

I went up to them, and said "are you two an item?"

 

[crazylegs]

Shut-up Chris...

 

[itsme]

Well i saw this guy and a girl in Tesco's the other day... they were wrapped up in a barcode!!!

I went up to them, and said "are you two an item?"

PMSL

 

[crazylegs]

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

 

[crazylegs]

And another....



Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet.
The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our f*cking car."

 

[crazylegs]

And one more for luck.....



What do you call 100 nuns in a shop? Virgin Megastore.

 

[crazylegs]

Youv'e been warned....

 

[cirianz]

PMSL

 

[murdoch]

Mr christopherpostill & Crazylegs very good

 

[itsme]

SS officer`s interview with British POW.

Vot is yor mission? Harry Smith private number 122897645 SIR.

Vot is yor mission? Ve hav vays ov making yo talk [smack] Harry Smith private number 122897645 SIR. Ve hav vays ov making yo talk [smack] Harry Smith private number 122897645 SIR Ve hav vays ov making yo talk now ansver me [smack] Harry Smith private number 122897645 SIR Ve hav uver vays ov making yo talk [smack] And vil yo stop hitting me ven I am quvestioning yo

 

[cirianz]

ROTFPMSL

Good one itsme.. you got me on that one