L
LOA
This is just such a great piece of writing and since we're facing a brand
New Year, I thought it extremely apropos :^D
For those of you who haven't dropped by, please stop by
http://www.altsupportdivorce.org/
You will find abundant resources and many things to help you with your new
and strange (and most likely scary) journey
(I hope no one minds me doing this, I thought it a good way to start the new
year, as well as welcome all newbies)
Learnings
--Author Unknown (contributed by Barb Nieman)
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of
all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And you blink back your
tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your
awakening.
You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever
after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense
of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you
(or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really
count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you. So, you learn to stand
on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of
safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing
fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.
You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should
behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should
wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what
you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the
importance of who you love, and what you owe your family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, and in the process you
learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated
ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs. You come to the realization that you
deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you
won't settle for less.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you
take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it
happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you
need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away
the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your
life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think
you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn
that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just
life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower... and real friends.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle
for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open
to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and faith by your side you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.
New Year, I thought it extremely apropos :^D
For those of you who haven't dropped by, please stop by
http://www.altsupportdivorce.org/
You will find abundant resources and many things to help you with your new
and strange (and most likely scary) journey
(I hope no one minds me doing this, I thought it a good way to start the new
year, as well as welcome all newbies)
Learnings
--Author Unknown (contributed by Barb Nieman)
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of
all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And you blink back your
tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your
awakening.
You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever
after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense
of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you
(or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really
count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you. So, you learn to stand
on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of
safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing
fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.
You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should
behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should
wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what
you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the
importance of who you love, and what you owe your family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, and in the process you
learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated
ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs. You come to the realization that you
deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you
won't settle for less.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you
take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it
happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you
need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away
the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your
life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think
you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn
that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just
life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower... and real friends.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle
for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open
to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and faith by your side you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.
