Coming soon: the "MY STUPID PRINTER CONTEST"

[trevor]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This NG is where people come in times of grief and emergency. Of dire need
and distress. And many times, all of this is caused by a STUPID PRINTER.

Let's face it, we all have had one.

Well, we at thINK4inc feel your pain. And we think the world needs to know.
And we'll give you prizes for your best "My Stupid Printer" story.

What prizes? Frankly, the marketing people don't know or they won't tell me
yet. If it's anything less that a year's supply of free ink/toner for the
winner's CURRENT printer, i am going to be P1ss3d! a "not so stupid
printer" would be nice. and there has to be some stuff for runners-up. and
no t-shirts. that is such a lame prize. I mean, this is MY IDEA so they are
NOT going to screw...I mean improve this idea. It's not marketing so much
as it is therapy. It's kind of cosmic, so briefly,

1. Everybody hates their "Stupid Printer".
2. We hate them more than most people because we only have to keep like 50
of them around to test on, and we need all the drivers on all the operating
systems dating back to DOS/Win. We call them "test beds" but the joke is
that there's no way to wake up on the right side of the test bed.
3. This creates much grief in our lives and in the lives of our customers.
Many times, the manufacturers are playing what we consider to be "dirty
tricks" on us and you. That stinks.
4. If I make a way to let us all blow off steam, it will make your life
better, it will make the folks at thINK4inc feel better and all of this
will translate into making me feel better.

Let's just say as a doctor of the web, I've had more compliant patients.

I'm giving you an advance heads-up on this NG only. Look for more details in
August 2006 at
http://www.thINK4inc.com

Oh yeah, new information pages break down savings on Lexmark and HP
cartridges on a cost-per-page level and tell you updated information on
more dirty tricks being played on you.

I hope the HP/Lexmark information brings a thoughfull response from
Measekite. I always appreciate Measekite's responses, number one because
there is no way to argue that buying OEM will deliver OEM performance,
because they make the specs. But number two, there are worse things in this
world that a group quality-watchdog. Whoa. That gives me a good idea.

 

[Richard Steinfeld]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This NG is where people come in times of grief and emergency. Of dire need
and distress. And many times, all of this is caused by a STUPID PRINTER.

Let's face it, we all have had one.

Well, we at thINK4inc feel your pain. And we think the world needs to know.
And we'll give you prizes for your best "My Stupid Printer" story.

What prizes? Frankly, the marketing people don't know or they won't tell me
yet. If it's anything less that a year's supply of free ink/toner for the
winner's CURRENT printer, i am going to be P1ss3d! a "not so stupid
printer" would be nice. and there has to be some stuff for runners-up. and
no t-shirts. that is such a lame prize. I mean, this is MY IDEA so they are
NOT going to screw...I mean improve this idea. It's not marketing so much
as it is therapy. It's kind of cosmic, so briefly,

1. Everybody hates their "Stupid Printer".
2. We hate them more than most people because we only have to keep like 50
of them around to test on, and we need all the drivers on all the operating
systems dating back to DOS/Win. We call them "test beds" but the joke is
that there's no way to wake up on the right side of the test bed.
3. This creates much grief in our lives and in the lives of our customers.
Many times, the manufacturers are playing what we consider to be "dirty
tricks" on us and you. That stinks.
4. If I make a way to let us all blow off steam, it will make your life
better, it will make the folks at thINK4inc feel better and all of this
will translate into making me feel better.

Let's just say as a doctor of the web, I've had more compliant patients.

I'm giving you an advance heads-up on this NG only. Look for more details in
August 2006 at
http://www.thINK4inc.com

Oh yeah, new information pages break down savings on Lexmark and HP
cartridges on a cost-per-page level and tell you updated information on
more dirty tricks being played on you.

I hope the HP/Lexmark information brings a thoughfull response from
Measekite. I always appreciate Measekite's responses, number one because
there is no way to argue that buying OEM will deliver OEM performance,
because they make the specs. But number two, there are worse things in this
world that a group quality-watchdog. Whoa. That gives me a good idea.

OK Trevor: you're on!

I just want to compliment you on the intelligence of your web site,
intelligence in more ways than one. I like the fact that your site
avoids the use of nasty glitz techniques such as Java, Active X, and
cookie enforcement -- it runs nice and smooth with my computer's
security routines.

I like your photo of the "two-fifths HP ink cartridge," which everyone
should see! This dishonesty is not unique: I have a V-Tech cordless
phone that came with half a battery in a full-size housing. It's a
"stupid" telephone in other ways: so badly engineered that it barely
works in two of its three modes; it's incompatible with standard
universal headsets so you have to buy theirs. See: it's not just printers.

One recommendation: add the ink quantities to your cartridge listings.

I've got three stupid printers in mind: one "ancient" and unusable, an
LED printer that was unusable (you've got to know this one), and a
spanking-current HP inkjet that's a contender for Consumer Reports' back
page. Which do you want?

Richard

 

[trevor]

(message trimmed)

OK Trevor: you're on!

Awesome!

I just want to compliment you on the intelligence of your web site,
intelligence in more ways than one. I like the fact that your site
avoids the use of nasty glitz techniques such as Java, Active X, and
cookie enforcement -- it runs nice and smooth with my computer's
security routines.

Thanks, that's nice to hear. Suggestions from customers are also helping us
improve.

I like your photo of the "two-fifths HP ink cartridge," which everyone
should see!

Is that a trip or what?

This dishonesty is not unique:

I can't call it dishonesty, they tell you how much ink is in there.....but
everybody knows what they are trying to do.

I have a V-Tech cordless
phone that came with half a battery in a full-size housing. It's a
"stupid" telephone in other ways: so badly engineered that it barely
works in two of its three modes; it's incompatible with standard
universal headsets so you have to buy theirs. See: it's not just printers.

I'm not surprised, but that's disgusting.

One recommendation: add the ink quantities to your cartridge listings.

You must mean in our product descriptions? Our pages that rip HP and Lexmark
to shreds have our yields in the highly confusing tables.

I've got three stupid printers in mind: one "ancient" and unusable, an
LED printer that was unusable (you've got to know this one), and a
spanking-current HP inkjet that's a contender for Consumer Reports' back
page. Which do you want?

Well, since the contest is my idea, I get to make the rules, and I just
decided there's no rule against submitting more than one story. I think
stories will be judged variously. I'll tend to like funny ones, but ones
that are illustrative of rapistic business practices as well as those which
bests capture the sheer human misery of having a stupid printer are strong
considerations as well.

Richard

-trevor

 

[Richard Steinfeld]

(message trimmed)



Thanks, that's nice to hear. Suggestions from customers are also helping us
improve.

I could do a "stupidly-designed web site" piece. My work often involves
usability. It's amazing how many web designers cannot relate at all to a
customer's experience.

....

You must mean in our product descriptions?

Yes. It needs to be clear right there.

Our pages that rip HP and Lexmark

to shreds have our yields in the highly confusing tables.




Well, since the contest is my idea, I get to make the rules, and I just
decided there's no rule against submitting more than one story. I think
stories will be judged variously. I'll tend to like funny ones, but ones
that are illustrative of rapistic business practices as well as those which
bests capture the sheer human misery of having a stupid printer are strong
considerations as well.

Good.
Where do I send the stories?

Richard

 

[trevor]

I could do a "stupidly-designed web site" piece. My work often involves
usability. It's amazing how many web designers cannot relate at all to a
customer's experience.

You know, I'm thinking I know you from AWW. Sure, I'd be very interested in
your input. I do a lot of accessibility work, but I haven't applied those
arts to ecommerce yet. I assume you understand you are looking at an OSC
shop?

Yes. It needs to be clear right there.

That's a good idea. I'll pass that on to the muckety-mucks.

Good.
Where do I send the stories?

Well, you can start throwing them across the site contact form
(think4inc.com). You might want to wait for the "official" announcement
(I'm treating my favorite Usenet groups to these "advance" announcements)
so you'll have every advantage to win. I'm psyched to know that I'll get at
least one well-written, biting and conducive article out of the effort
though, so I'm really looking forward to your submission(s).

Richard

-Trevor

 

[Richard Steinfeld]

Trevor,

Email me at my munged address here.

Richard