Greetings Scott,
As for the first problem, this usually occurs when some other application or possibly even
your screen saver is preventing Messenger from accurately detecting that you've gone away.
Unfortunately there really isn't much you can do about this as it's essentially trying to
find a needle in a haystack. However, what you might try as a workaround is install
Messenger Plus (
http://www.msgplus.net) and use its option for doing this (which may work
differently). The option after installing Plus! is in the main Messenger window, clicking
the Plus! menu, then Preferences, Miscellaneous. Take note that if you do try this option,
be sure to read through the installer ,as if you do not wish to install the sponsor program
(ie. advertising) that goes along with Plus!, be sure *not* to chose that option during the
installation.
As for the second problem, if you're using a third-party firewall (Sygate, ZoneAlarm, Norton,
etc.) try uninstalling them or set Messenger to "Permit All" or "Allow" type options in the
firewall configuration.
If you're using a router, make sure you have the latest firmware from your router
manufacturer.
If you see the disconnection problem on a corporate network, the network may be timing out
your settings -- in this case, you might want to ask your system administrator to adjust the
corporate internet sharing solution/firewall (if possible).
Finally, this can also happen due to a lack of bandwidth. If you have Kazaa, WinMX, GNUtella
or some other file sharing-type application or something else that takes considerable amounts
of bandwidth, you may want to shut it down and see if that helps the situation (even if
you're using a high speed connection, these applications can use most of the resources of
your connection).