How change a Light Bulb?

muckshifter

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How many Forum Members does it take to change a Light Bulb?

1 … to change the light bulb.

1 … to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 … to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 … to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 … to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 … to flame the spell checkers.

6 … to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 … industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 … know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

156 … to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

109 … to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.

203 … to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 … to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

306 … to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

27 … to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 … to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs.

27 … to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 … to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 … to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 … to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

4 … to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 … to ask what is a "FAQ"?

1243 … to post: " lol "

4 … to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 … to say "do a search on 'light bulbs' before posting questions about light bulbs".

… and 1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and to start it all over again.

:D
 

Ian

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Brilliant :D

I think I'd be in the "1243 … to post: lol " group!
 
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1. DANCE IN THE DARK
First make sure the light bulb you’re trying to replace is, in fact, burned out and that your eyes aren’t merely shut. (Tip: When the bulb is hard to look at and hot to the touch, it does not need to be changed.) “If the switch is turned on and there’s no light, your bulb probably doesn’t work,” says Padraic Duffy, an electrician based in Albuquerque, NM. In most cases, the switch is on when it’s flipped up and off when it’s down, but it may help to note the correct positions on the wall with a crayon, just in case.

2. TURN, TURN, TURN
Reach the burned-out bulb using a stepladder, a chair, or a stack of bunnies. Dry your hands first to avoid contracting a nasty case of death, and don’t grab the bulb too tightly or it may shatter. “Broken glass is bad for hands,” Duffy warns. Once you’ve got the bulb, unscrew it by turning it to the left. This will take more than one turn. Don’t—repeat, do not—smash the bulb with a hammer to remove it from the socket. This might seem quicker at first but will only lead to needless delays later on.

3. TWIST AND SHOUT
If you don’t have a fresh bulb, now’s a good time to go get one. Run to the store, or, if cost is an issue, make your own with a glassblower, tungsten filament, and “light juice.” Got bulb? Insert the smaller, metallic part into the socket; if the bulb is way too big, you may be inserting the wrong end. Screw it clockwise until it stays; otherwise the bulb will fall when you let go.

4. LIGHT UP MY LIFE
Now turn the light switch to the on position discussed earlier. “If the bulb illuminates when you’ve turned the switch, you’ve done a good job,” says Duffy. Climb down from your perch or, if you’re feeling frisky, jump. Just make sure your tie isn’t caught in the fixture before you take the leap—that’s one mistake we won’t make twice.
27 … to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
guess thats me...
 

gabriella

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Dear Muckshifter

You have missed out a vital category - the social worker - light bulbs always need a social worker...you need 1 to change the bulb and 99 to form a tranquility in the dark support group...

Gabriella x
 

muckshifter

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gabriella said:
Dear Muckshifter

You have missed out a vital category - the social worker - light bulbs always need a social worker...you need 1 to change the bulb and 99 to form a tranquility in the dark support group...

Gabriella x
... the Dark Support Group, you mean:- The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.

The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.
Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
the closet.

Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
http://home.netcom.com/~rogermw/darksucker.html


:D
 

gabriella

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Dear floppy

Keep guessing............

There's always a social worker where a light bulb is involved!!!!

Gabriella x
 

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