I believe your question has two parts:
1. The F9 send/recieve functionality can be found here:
In Outlook>Tools>Options>Mail Setup>Send Recieve (button)
2.The Send/Recieve button can be sorted out here:
Right-click blank area of the Toolbar then click -
Customize>Commands tab>Rearrange Commands>Toolbar radio button>Standard
If "Send/Recieve" is not on the list, click Add and find/select it.
Then move it up or down the list to get it in view on the toolbar.
Hope this helps,
ZILLA
(p.s.: Outlook Development Team - These particular toolbar menus are VERY
complicated! Duplication of very similar looking menu choices is perplexing.))