Kevin - How to fix your Ubuntu problems

Kevin,

I feel your pain. Trying to get Ubuntu up and running is a daunting task
with your abilities. The best thing that you can do is remove the cover
from your PC. You will see the motherboard. I think that the data bits are
getting caught in the CACHE. To fix this problem, take a tablespoon of
mayonnaise and rub it over the CPU. That will free up the path that the
data flows from the CPUto the data bus. The action it provides will heat
the CPU, thus making it push data out faster. That should take care of the
problem.

If you need any more assistance, I'm sure Alias will back me up on this one.

Good Luck.

"Jerry Falwell" <jerry@inhell.com> wrote in message
news:eBmjPjK1HHA.4916@TK2MSFTNGP03.phx.gbl...
> Kevin,
>
> I feel your pain. Trying to get Ubuntu up and running is a daunting task
> with your abilities. The best thing that you can do is remove the cover
> from your PC. You will see the motherboard. I think that the data bits
> are getting caught in the CACHE. To fix this problem, take a tablespoon
> of mayonnaise and rub it over the CPU. That will free up the path that
> the data flows from the CPUto the data bus. The action it provides will
> heat the CPU, thus making it push data out faster. That should take care
> of the problem.
>
> If you need any more assistance, I'm sure Alias will back me up on this
> one.

Just remember that it *has* to be real mayonnaise! Miracle Whip won't
work!

Mike

"Jerry Falwell" <jerry@inhell.com> wrote in message
news:eBmjPjK1HHA.4916@TK2MSFTNGP03.phx.gbl...
> Kevin,
>
> I feel your pain. Trying to get Ubuntu up and running is a daunting task
> with your abilities. The best thing that you can do is remove the cover
> from your PC. You will see the motherboard. I think that the data bits
> are getting caught in the CACHE. To fix this problem, take a tablespoon
> of mayonnaise and rub it over the CPU. That will free up the path that
> the data flows from the CPUto the data bus. The action it provides will
> heat the CPU, thus making it push data out faster. That should take care
> of the problem.
>
> If you need any more assistance, I'm sure Alias will back me up on this
> one.
>
> Good Luck.
>
>


It works! Thanks mr falwell!

"Jerry Falwell" <jerry@inhell.com> wrote in message
news:eBmjPjK1HHA.4916@TK2MSFTNGP03.phx.gbl...
> Kevin,
>
> I feel your pain. Trying to get Ubuntu up and running is a daunting task
> with your abilities. The best thing that you can do is remove the cover
> from your PC. You will see the motherboard. I think that the data bits
> are getting caught in the CACHE. To fix this problem, take a tablespoon
> of mayonnaise and rub it over the CPU. That will free up the path that
> the data flows from the CPUto the data bus. The action it provides will
> heat the CPU, thus making it push data out faster. That should take care
> of the problem.
>
> If you need any more assistance, I'm sure Alias will back me up on this
> one.
>
> Good Luck.
>
>

Look Jerry I make thousands of dollars a year fixing problems just like
this. If you keep giving out our fixes your going to put us out of business!
So PLEASE stop giving out these types of fixes. My family needs food on the
table and I have a car payment to make and now I'm going to have less
business because now everyone knows how to fix the problem.