This is a really old thread, I hope someone is still watching it. I'm using Oracle at work, and it is SO impolite! Oracle programs routinely grab the focus when I'm typing something, so that what I type goes to the wrong program... to add insult to injury, the offending program then squawks at me for whatever I'm typing.
I use TweakUI every morning to make sure the DO-NOT-STEAL-FOCUS flag is set. I have checked HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Control Panel\Desktop\ForegroundLockTimeout to make sure it contains 30d40. Still, these obnoxious programs steal the focus.
Does anyone have any other ideas?