[Ian]

Another good one

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

[KGB-911]

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top af a skyscraper,

The first man says "The wind is just right, i bet if i jump out of this window the wind will blow me through the window on the 10th floor"

Seccond man "Go on then, try it"

The first man jumped out of the window and got blown into the window

When he got back to the bar, the seccond man said "that looked like fun, ill try"

So he jumped, went passed the 10th floor an crashed into the ground

The bar tendor sain to the first man "You are a real git when your drunk, superman!"

[Spooky Mouse]

Originally Posted by Quadophile

I hope you all will keep it SQUEAKY CLEAN!

Why did the Mouse (who happened to be a robber) take a bath?

So he could make a SQUEAKY CLEAN gettaway!!....

[KGB-911]

"For 20 years", mused the man at the bar,
"My wife and i were ectaticaly happy."
"Then what happened?" asked the barman.
"We met."

[KGB-911]

"How was your holiday?" one cannibal said to another.
"Great," came the reply.
"lots of sun, sea and sand."
"So how come yo are missing a leg?"
"It was self-catering."


Woo Hoo! This is my 100th Post!!!
KGB - Does this make me a 'Senior member'?

[KGB-911]

A man goes on holiday to the Holy land with his wife and mother-in-law. during the trip, the mother-in-law dies. The man goes to see an undertaker, who explanes that he will ship the the body home, but it will cost £5,000. Or they can bury it in the holy land for yust £150.

"We'll ship her home" says the son-in-law
"are you sure?" says the undertaker "That's an awfully big price"

"Look" Says the sun-in-law "two thousand years agothey burried a bloke here, and 3 days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that risk!"

Im a senior member

KGB

do you like my jokes?

[floppybootstomp]

Originally Posted by KGB-911

do you like my jokes?

You've been saving all them little slips of paper out the Christmas crackers aintcha?

[KGB-911]

No, the last 3 came from national geographic!

We get a mini magazine trying to sell us the real one, we never ordered it.

[Becky]

Here's one I made up whilst revising contemporary British politics in the library in June;


Which British political party can you always see right through?...


...The Conserva-Tories!

OK, I know it's not great, revision had rotted my brain

[christopherpostill]

hehehehehehehehe