Combo box refresh with limit to list = no

Hi O'wonderful gurus,

I have a combo box that is limit to list = no with the following query

SELECT [Male].[S_Name]+', '+[Male].[F_Name]+' '+'&'+'
'+[Female].[S_Name]+', '+[Female].[F_Name] AS Couple,
CombinedCpl.CombinedCplNo, CombinedCpl.Combined_Idx,
CombinedCpl.CombinedCplID, CombinedCpl.RegYN AS MaleChk, CombinedCpl.RegYN AS
FemaleChk, CombinedCpl.CombinedMale, CombinedCpl.CombinedFem
FROM CombinedComp AS Male INNER JOIN (CombinedCpl INNER JOIN CombinedComp AS
Female ON CombinedCpl.CombinedFem = Female.CompetitorID) ON Male.CompetitorID
= CombinedCpl.CombinedMale
WHERE (((CombinedCpl.RegYN)=[Male].[CombinedReg] And
(CombinedCpl.RegYN)=[Female].[CombinedReg]))
ORDER BY [Male].[S_Name]+', '+[Male].[F_Name];

I use If Me.cboNonCplLook.ListIndex = -1 Then
to determine whether a matching record exists. If not I open a form to add
the new couple. I then make my "addUnlisted" form not visible requery the cbo
on the originating form & close the "addUnlisted" form.

I cannot change the cbo limit to list to = yes for various reasons.

2 issues for me are:- when I retype the search criteria into the cbo after
requerying, the added record appears twice although only once in the
underlying table.

I'd like the added record to be found & selected when I close the
"addUnlisted" form & return focus to the cbo so the user can just tab to the
next field. Any suggestions since I'm sure there must be a way to do it. I
just don't know how yet