Every time I revisit the 'eLf ideas' newslettersThat I used to make
and distribute in the lateNineties and reread what I had written in
those days,I can still smile at the ideas I was able toChurn out at
that age and with having no formalBackground in writing; however, I
now usuallyFind myself blushing in shame at the way IBrusquely
expressed many ideas and views--oftenArrogant, couldn't-care-less, lots
ofNeologisms, verbose rather than eloquent,Flamboyant rather than
precise.
I even remember declaring in one article: "ThisIs my literary world,
and you are just myPlatypi. I can do whatever I want; I can
writeWhatever I think of. You can't do anythingBut read."
That now triggers goose bumps on my nape.The arrogance of Youth.The "I
am an anarchist" stage of life!
But, age and experience canReally mellow people.
I'm glad I was given the chance to work in aPublishing company such as
Diwa Scholastic Press Inc.,Where I realized that--more than expressing
my viewsAnd "brilliant ideas" and writing with a bitIntent of
impressing--being able to communicateFeelings and concern and knowledge
in the mostSubtle and compromising way most oftenHits the goal.
I hope that I have indeed mellowed down and hadRather become calmer
and more patient: no longerShoving, instead suggesting; expressing,
notImpressing, contributing, not monopolizing;Clarifying, not
concluding; offering, notImposing; and accepting and considerate,
noLonger rejecting and indifferent.
I hope that the "I don't careWhat people say" rebel days have allBeen
really gone.
Wency Cornejo was right after all:"You can't be so radical...."
I remember myself back those carefreeDays--whenever a jeepney or
tricycle driverWouldn't give my fifty-centavo change, I wouldFlare up
and confront the
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